The Perfect Anniversary Gift

I am a firm believer in celebrating marriage. As a picture of Christ and the church, the Devil wages war on marriage. I believe it is the most challenging school of growth you could attend which makes the good times so very sweet.

 
Our 30th Anniversary cake, Stonehurst Place, Atlanta, June 2020

Our 30th Anniversary cake, Stonehurst Place, Atlanta, June 2020

 

Last year was a big one for us: thirty years married!  It however happened to be during the COVID pandemic and all of our children were living with us temporarily. We went to Atlanta for two nights instead of celebrating in some grander way.  It was tough to find time or money to do such things while rearing a family so two nights felt like quite a treat.  However, this year our thirty-first anniversary was our first as empty nesters and I rather like the tradition we set last year of going away for our anniversary so I hereby declare that the standard has been raised!  Leaving an empty house that we have all to ourselves and paying for a small hotel room seems crazy but the change of pace and scenery is refreshing. It’s a big deal to still have each other after another year of marriage so a big deal should be made.


Our anniversary this year was on a Wednesday so we enjoyed a lovely lunch at the Gourmet Shop, a small cafe joined to a gourmet kitchen store.  We then paid a visit to our jeweler Bill at Unforgettable Jewelry. In March of last year, I painfully managed to get my wedding rings off with a thin piece of ribbon. I had been wearing them for years non-stop since my finger’s growth over the years had made them difficult to remove. Once I became unable to remove them, I knew something drastic would have to take place to get them off. I have missed being able to wear them this past year and this anniversary seemed like the appropriate time to have them sized. So we left them with Bill along with the sapphire ring my boyfriend-now-husband gave me in the twelfth grade and a couple of other pieces to be repaired. It turns out that my wedding rings had to be sized up a whole size! It’s hard to remember wearing a 4 3/4 but then again the rest of me has sized up more than one size since then. 

 
My 4 3/4 size ring and my 5 3/4 size finger. Ouch!

My 4 3/4 size ring and my 5 3/4 size finger. Ouch!

 

Friday morning we left for Charlotte and went straight to Smithfield’s Chicken ’N Bar-B-Q for lunch. After enjoying their show tunes and friendly service, we headed to Charlotte Premium Outlets nearby to divide and conquer.  I made purchases at Saks Fifth Avenue Off 5th, Loft, Ann Taylor, and Talbots.  Those are my go-tos and I don’t bother entering other stores at this outlet. Next we checked into the Ballantyne Hotel (click here for the post I wrote on this in 2016) and had a rest before heading to a late dinner at Viva Chicken for Peruvian rotisserie chicken and delicious sides.

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Saturday morning, we slept surprisingly late and had brunch in the hotel’s Gallery Restaurant at lunchtime. Then we relaxed in the room and by the pool for the afternoon before our fancy anniversary dinner in the hotel’s restaurant. Everything was superb and it ended with a surprise anniversary dessert to share which was just right in every way.

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We returned for breakfast Sunday morning and were served excellently again by the same staff from both previous meals.  The workforce shortage post-COVID was evident but the staff could not have been more upbeat and attentive.

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We went back to our room to watch our own church’s service online and then we checked out to head to the Sistene Chapel Exhibition which is touring the country. A rented warehouse was full of close-ups of the thirty-four frescoes of Michelangelo’s Sistene Chapel with a short write-up on each along with a chart of it’s location on the famed ceiling. The awe-inspiring experience of the real thing may have been lacking but it was neat to see the detail up close. It was a peaceful, slow-paced way to end our trip.

Or at least I thought the trip was over. I had spotted the Charlotte Flower Market on the way to the exhibition and looked it up, in doubt that it was something I could visit without a business license. However, after investigation and my husband’s insistence, we went and found it open to the public.  I actually held back tears as I entered the flower cooler with access to every flower they sold. A rather dashing chap carried the bucket as I filled it with one beautiful stem after another.  I could hardly think of what I wanted for being amazed at this happy development. I went home with a smile and a bucket full of arranging fun for the next day. What a perfect way to end a wonderful celebration of God’s goodness to us!

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Well, that was the trip and every part of it was so nice, but I haven’t told you yet of the best moment.  It’s a moment that I will Be Keeping in my heart. The night of our fancy anniversary dinner, Jeff was ready before I was so he left me to finish getting ready while he went to the car for his jacket and would then wait in the lobby for me to come down for dinner. I enjoyed my time of primping for my special date and took the elevator down to find Mr. Handsome sitting on a couch in the lobby. What I wouldn’t give to have a video of his response! Remember that he saw me 30 minutes earlier and has worked from home for the past 16 months and has been married to me for 31 years and dated me 11 years before that. When I walked my 53-year-old self into the lobby of that hotel, Jeff stood up, his face turned red, he smiled like a school boy and GOT EMOTIONAL! He walked to me and hugged me and kissed me and whispered, “You’re so pretty.” He took my hand and walked me toward the hotel restaurant but with his head down saying nothing but a few sniffs. It was the kind of response I could have only hoped for at his first look at me in my wedding gown.

It’s a miracle that I am telling you this, and I know I will regret being so transparent just after publishing it. If you only knew how I feel about myself. If you only knew how difficult it is for our opposite personalities to get along. If you only knew how low I felt the night before, after trying clothes on this foreign body of mine and looking at my reality in the dressing room mirrors in bad lighting all day.  There’s a grieving process a woman goes through as she watches her youth die. I am great at beating myself up and I like to use one failure as a diving board to plunge into an inner tongue-lashing of ALL my failures. But Jeff sees me differently, and I can believe his loving response was sincere because I know him well and he is not a liar. I truly do not care what anybody else on earth thinks of how I look, but what Jeff thinks of me means everything. Nothing he could have bought me would have been a more perfect keepsake from the weekend than his sweet response was.

I don’t write this to promote myself or to gross out my children. The reason this is worth sharing is because it was such a perfect illustration of what the Lord has been trying to teach me. The more I learn about God and His holiness, the more ashamed I am of my sin and my very nature. I can quote the verses about how much He treasures me—the one He gave His life for, provides for, protects, sustains, communes with, takes pleasure in— and I have sung “Jesus Loves Me” my whole life, but I feel like I am a disappointment to Him. That’s because I don’t fully grasp that God sees His Son when He sees me. His grace is so much greater than my sin that He smiles at me and enjoys my company.  He likes my personality—He created it—and I am the only creature like me. Even though He knows me inside and out and all of my history and my every thought and failure, He delights in me, and I must choose to believe it because He is not a liar. He tells me all of this in His word and I have to purposely choose to believe it instead of believing that He is as disappointed in me as I am.

Toward the end of our anniversary weekend, I told Jeff to “say something anniversary.” He came right back with “You still thrill me.” Knowing myself, that’s hard to believe, but he is very convincing and I blush to enjoy his delight in me. 

Aiken for a Break

I am just back from two nights at the Willcox Inn in Aiken, South Carolina. Our 27th anniversary was nearly a month ago but it is this week that our youngest is at camp so we waited until now to officially celebrate making it to number 27. My husband, Jeff, was in Aiken on business several weeks back and noted the stately inn and quaint town. We needed somewhere not too far from home for getting away and doing absolutely nothing and the Willcox fit the bill.  It is crazy to think that we paid money to stay there two nights while we left our house empty but we have seen the benefits many times of getting away to other scenery and away from the routine and projects facing us at home.  I got nothing done WITHOUT the guilt, thank you very much.

The Willcox Inn was built during an era when Aiken was seen as a winter colony for the well-to-do.  It boasts a guest list that includes the Vanderbilts, FDR, and Winston Churchill and now Jeff and Theresa Beach! The inn has stately white columns out front and a woodsy lobby complete with stone fireplaces on both ends. My appetite for architecture, interior design, and furnishings was well satisfied with plenty of stimuli around every corner.

We had dropped our son off at camp in Greenville and then drove directly to Aiken. Well, actually you can’t drive directly to Aiken from Greenville so we saw places in our home state that we have never seen before.  There are lots of trees in our home state. We have never been more sure of this. Over two hours later, we arrived at the beautiful inn, checked in, and settled in.  

This rail hit about mid-thigh. We had to reach down to turn the doorknobs inside the suite.  I felt really tall at times.

This rail hit about mid-thigh. We had to reach down to turn the doorknobs inside the suite.  I felt really tall at times.

I like the way they dealt with this step and I love drop-leaf tables!

I like the way they dealt with this step and I love drop-leaf tables!

An adorable way to leave an old-world sewing kit on the mantle for guests

An adorable way to leave an old-world sewing kit on the mantle for guests

After a little rest, we were finally hungry enough for dinner.  While we were still in our church clothes, we decided it would be the best time for our fancy meal of the trip so we went downstairs to the inn’s restaurant and were delighted at every turn.  We got a corner window table and enjoyed the view of each other. The butter for the bread was served on a chilled piece of slate and sprinkled with coarse salt. Jeff’s appetizer of ravioli was beautiful and tasty and something I think I could replicate at home: four ravioli topped with arugula, roasted red peppers, shaved parmesan, and malt vinegar. The colors would be perfect at Christmas. Our filets were spot on and accompanied by a mix of green vegetables. Jeff’s dessert was an espresso mousse sprinkled with what they called “honeycomb” which was like honey brittle. My dessert was a peach and blackberry cardamom sponge cake pudding. We approved.

I like the way this hotel and many others dress their beds.  Our king bed had a fluffy mattress topper and four soft pillows.  The linens were all white and they layer a warm but thin blanket between two flat sheets.  There is a patterned coverlet on top that you can pull up and then a fat duvet which I’m sure comes in handy when it is not July. This bed was quite a bit taller than our bed at home so it took a little getting used to getting out of bed (or I should say getting down from bed) without breaking our necks. There was a little step by the bed but it only complicated matters. 

After a very good night’s rest, Jeff got ready and went to the lobby to drink coffee and read while I enjoyed some self-pampering.  When I finally emerged, we went to the breakfast room in the hotel. They had pastries and menu items that were complimentary; you paid only if you ordered certain items like bacon, so it was nice to have complimentary Mixed Berry French Toast.  I nearly coveted the buffet from which they served the beverages.  It had storage and was plenty long and I have a wall in my dining room waiting for it.  

A beautiful marriage of modern and old-fashioned. That applies to the bathroom as well.

A beautiful marriage of modern and old-fashioned. That applies to the bathroom as well.

The waitress who served us at breakfast noticed how genteel my husband is and asked, “Is he always so sweet to you?” I replied, "I'm afraid so."  I know how good I have it but every now and again I realize how VERY good I have it.  Our marriage is not without problems, but I am very blessed to be married to a man of integrity who treats me like a queen and more and more as we learn to love each other better.  I guess I made a good bet 27 years ago.

After breakfast we went outside to look at the pool and then for a walk downtown.  Aiken has many one way streets divided by wide medians which create parking spaces on each side or park areas.  It gives a spacious feel to the town and creates a lot of buffer zones. We went into the antique mall and enjoyed commenting on different items to each other. Back on the street, I saw a life-size replica of a horse painted as an American flag and, instantly thinking political party, I said, “Look at that donkey!” My companion got a great laugh out of that and we continued to note the “donkeys” throughout the town, painted with different scenes.

You do not have to be in Aiken long to realize that it is big on horses. There were horse items everywhere although we never saw an actual live horse. The inn and the antique mall were full of horse gear and old pictures of people riding and there are annual events for horse lovers. It’s an equestrian town for sure.

You know you are in an equestrian town when there is a boot jack in your closet.  It even looks like a horse.

You know you are in an equestrian town when there is a boot jack in your closet.  It even looks like a horse.

Even their leaves look like horses!

Even their leaves look like horses!

After an afternoon of cooling off and resting, we walked to a mid-afternoon lupper at The Pizza Joint.  Our Greek salad was delicious and, when it was all over, we left about half a pizza on the table.  

We decided to enjoy the room for the rest of the evening so we took another nap and called room service to deliver those same two desserts we had the night before.  It tastes better wearing a bath robe. Then Hubby indulged me and watched "The Coffee Shop” movie with me.  By this point I can’t remember what day it is. It is nice every once in a long while to have a day of not looking at the clock but eating when you are hungry and sleeping when you are tired.  I should put tired in quotation marks; “tired” from being lazy!

On our final morning there, we duplicated the previous morning and then headed out to Betsy’s on the Corner, a local diner that was heralded in an article I read of great restaurants in South Carolina.  We had noticed on the website that they serve breakfast on Saturdays until 11am so we figured they must stop serving it earlier on other days. Nope. It meant they serve breakfast ONLY on Saturdays. This town’s business hours were somewhat surprising if not inconvenient. We went just a bit down the road to What’s Cookin’ and had breakfast there.  The grits were substantial and full of herbs.  The rest was so-so and the waitress needed our help to know what to do, bless her heart. But, hey, the local experience is part of the adventure when you travel so we still enjoyed ourselves.

It really seemed like a much longer trip than it was, seeing we were there not even 48 hours. Even a short break can give much refreshment and you will be “chomping at the bit” to get back to your routine with renewed vigor. All those times that I needed a break during the busiest days of my life make me truly thankful for these luxurious getaways. Even at a much more modest price, I am convinced that they are absolutely necessary for the health of a marriage. There is something about removing the usual distractions and cares so that you can be absorbed in one another and interested in every little thought and interest of your spouse. And then there’s THOSE PEOPLE we try not to mention because we are on a MARRIAGE trip and not a PARENT trip…but end up smiling and laughing as we talk about our children anyway. Now we feel all affirmed and relaxed. Time to get back to our lives as we smile and remember a wonderful celebration of our marriage.