Hello again, Friends. It has been a while since I have written. I have been debating here at the end of the high dive and alas have been nudged to take the plunge. Since today is Be Keeper’s Day (2/5–referencing the theme verse Titus 2:5), it seems like the appropriate day to get back to writing about the reality of being a keeper at home.
My, how life has changed! I don’t just mean lockdown; my life has changed in a much more permanent way. After twenty-seven years of being a mom to growing children, I have sat down; I have taken a deep and thorough rest. I am sure I sat periodically during those twenty-seven years but not like this.
I loved Mom Life. Being with my children through every phase of their development was wonderful. I was never without urgent tasks to complete, making my helpfulness evident. It’s not as evident any more except for the fact that I’m still here: that’s plenty of evidence that I haven’t completed my life. The Mom Life was so busy—so very busy! We worked at making it less busy but it was still busy. I am amazed that I was able to do all of that going and doing, knowing now what an introvert I am. There wasn’t much time for me to take care of ME, but there is time now.
Eight years ago when we bought my husband’s long-awaited leather recliner, we also bought a Momma Bear chair for me. I sit there sometimes but there is a high ceiling in our living room and there’s politics in there and the smell of coffee. There are also people in there, the people I love most in this world, yet I still need quality and quantity time alone, tucked away somewhere.
I remember those busy years when I had to make myself call it quits at 11pm. I also remember the day when I decided to hang it up at 9pm each night because I deserved an hour to relax before bed. Because of my need for alone time, I would sit on my bed, propped with pillows, for lack of anywhere else to sit in my room. Eventually we moved an old, dated chair into the corner of my room that would do the trick temporarily, especially with a blanket thrown over it.
This chair came from my parents’ furniture store nearly thirty years ago. It was my Daddy’s go-to chair when my parents visited us. In fact, he sat in this chair to hold his namesake for the first time. It would be interesting to see a list of all the guests who have sat in this chair. It has served us well.
My husband has offered to replace it with a new chair. I have looked a bit but haven’t found one the same shape. Plus, my Daddy didn’t hold his namesake in those other chairs. Maybe I will have it reupholstered for my next sitting room, but for now, this chair has my back. In my small little world, it is my command center. It’s not too hard and not too soft; it’s juuuust right.
Next to my chair I have a short, three-shelf bookcase which also acts as my bedside table. It holds everything I need. I could busy myself here all day having devotions, corresponding, managing finances, filing my nails, watching a movie, reading books, shopping, writing my blog, making appointments, eating my snack, checking off and creating lists, planning, planning, and planning. Oh, and my puzzle books! Reading, writing, and ’rithmatic have turned out to be my lifelong companions. Unfortunately, I do have to get up occasionally to do, you know, housework and some days I have to actually LEAVE the house, but even before leaving, I look forward to some chair time before bed. Chair work suits me best.
Please don’t think me lazy. The work I do in my chair is real work. In fact, it is a lot of what there is to do as a mother with children at home or as a single person for that matter. Much of what a home manager does is reduced to moving things from one place to another, scheduling, and filling out forms. I used to handle many of these things sitting in my van during a flute lesson or between steps of a recipe or on the fly in some other capacity. I never found much time those days for the nails or books. Finally having that time after it being so scarce makes it all the sweeter. Now that I think about it, that driver’s seat in the van used to be “my chair.” No complaint here: it was sweet work.
I remember my Momma’s chair. It was in the living room which she had to herself a lot in the evenings by the time I, the final child, was a teen. Hers was equipped with a nail file, scissors, ink pens, huge dictionary, thesaurus, daily crossword puzzle, magazines, and that well-read red Bible.
I suppose I am falling into the typical life pattern of being on the go when I was young with scarcely any down time, and now being on the slow and having to work at getting enough active time. Both lives are a blessing from the Lord and I want to get the joy each life brings. I am still a mom to growing children but the momming and the growing are different now. Adjusting to those changes can be painful but the love continues and carries me through to each new phase.
These transitional days have left me wondering what my contribution will be going forward. I know that I have a need to be of help so I am considering how I can do that, though I realize prayer and friendship are always valuable contributions to make at any age. The Holy Spirit won’t leave me alone about this blog, though I have told Him all the reasons it won’t work. Let’s just say I am coasting forward in neutral to see where I can be most effective. I plan to write on topics concerning homemaking and I pray it benefits many, but I also want to show introverts and Highly Sensitive Persons that they are not alone—news I would have welcomed along my life’s way.
I have been stretched all my life to do things I didn’t think I could do. Believing “I can’t!” forced me to ask God for help and He is the only way I could have done any of it. He has been like this chair: always waiting with outstretched arms to uphold me and allow me to rest while giving me a way to accomplish my tasks. When I get away, I long to run back to Him. He doesn’t change. He doesn’t chide me for being who I am. He is just always there…for me.