The Perfect Anniversary Gift

I am a firm believer in celebrating marriage. As a picture of Christ and the church, the Devil wages war on marriage. I believe it is the most challenging school of growth you could attend which makes the good times so very sweet.

Our 30th Anniversary cake, Stonehurst Place, Atlanta, June 2020

Last year was a big one for us: thirty years married!  It however happened to be during the COVID pandemic and all of our children were living with us temporarily. We went to Atlanta for two nights instead of celebrating in some grander way.  It was tough to find time or money to do such things while rearing a family so two nights felt like quite a treat.  However, this year our thirty-first anniversary was our first as empty nesters and I rather like the tradition we set last year of going away for our anniversary so I hereby declare that the standard has been raised!  Leaving an empty house that we have all to ourselves and paying for a small hotel room seems crazy but the change of pace and scenery is refreshing. It’s a big deal to still have each other after another year of marriage so a big deal should be made.

Our anniversary this year was on a Wednesday so we enjoyed a lovely lunch at the Gourmet Shop, a small cafe joined to a gourmet kitchen store.  We then paid a visit to our jeweler Bill at Unforgettable Jewelry. In March of last year, I painfully managed to get my wedding rings off with a thin piece of ribbon. I had been wearing them for years non-stop since my finger’s growth over the years had made them difficult to remove. Once I became unable to remove them, I knew something drastic would have to take place to get them off. I have missed being able to wear them this past year and this anniversary seemed like the appropriate time to have them sized. So we left them with Bill along with the sapphire ring my boyfriend-now-husband gave me in the twelfth grade and a couple of other pieces to be repaired. It turns out that my wedding rings had to be sized up a whole size! It’s hard to remember wearing a 4 3/4 but then again the rest of me has sized up more than one size since then. 

My 4 3/4 size ring and my 5 3/4 size finger. Ouch!

Friday morning we left for Charlotte and went straight to Smithfield’s Chicken ’N Bar-B-Q for lunch. After enjoying their show tunes and friendly service, we headed to Charlotte Premium Outlets nearby to divide and conquer.  I made purchases at Saks Fifth Avenue Off 5th, Loft, Ann Taylor, and Talbots.  Those are my go-tos and I don’t bother entering other stores at this outlet. Next we checked into the Ballantyne Hotel (click here for the post I wrote on this in 2016) and had a rest before heading to a late dinner at Viva Chicken for Peruvian rotisserie chicken and delicious sides.

Saturday morning, we slept surprisingly late and had brunch in the hotel’s Gallery Restaurant at lunchtime. Then we relaxed in the room and by the pool for the afternoon before our fancy anniversary dinner in the hotel’s restaurant. Everything was superb and it ended with a surprise anniversary dessert to share which was just right in every way.

We returned for breakfast Sunday morning and were served excellently again by the same staff from both previous meals.  The workforce shortage post-COVID was evident but the staff could not have been more upbeat and attentive.

We went back to our room to watch our own church’s service online and then we checked out to head to the Sistene Chapel Exhibition which is touring the country. A rented warehouse was full of close-ups of the thirty-four frescoes of Michelangelo’s Sistene Chapel with a short write-up on each along with a chart of it’s location on the famed ceiling. The awe-inspiring experience of the real thing may have been lacking but it was neat to see the detail up close. It was a peaceful, slow-paced way to end our trip.

Or at least I thought the trip was over. I had spotted the Charlotte Flower Market on the way to the exhibition and looked it up, in doubt that it was something I could visit without a business license. However, after investigation and my husband’s insistence, we went and found it open to the public.  I actually held back tears as I entered the flower cooler with access to every flower they sold. A rather dashing chap carried the bucket as I filled it with one beautiful stem after another.  I could hardly think of what I wanted for being amazed at this happy development. I went home with a smile and a bucket full of arranging fun for the next day. What a perfect way to end a wonderful celebration of God’s goodness to us!

Well, that was the trip and every part of it was so nice, but I haven’t told you yet of the best moment.  It’s a moment that I will Be Keeping in my heart. The night of our fancy anniversary dinner, Jeff was ready before I was so he left me to finish getting ready while he went to the car for his jacket and would then wait in the lobby for me to come down for dinner. I enjoyed my time of primping for my special date and took the elevator down to find Mr. Handsome sitting on a couch in the lobby. What I wouldn’t give to have a video of his response! Remember that he saw me 30 minutes earlier and has worked from home for the past 16 months and has been married to me for 31 years and dated me 11 years before that. When I walked my 53-year-old self into the lobby of that hotel, Jeff stood up, his face turned red, he smiled like a school boy and GOT EMOTIONAL! He walked to me and hugged me and kissed me and whispered, “You’re so pretty.” He took my hand and walked me toward the hotel restaurant but with his head down saying nothing but a few sniffs. It was the kind of response I could have only hoped for at his first look at me in my wedding gown.

It’s a miracle that I am telling you this, and I know I will regret being so transparent just after publishing it. If you only knew how I feel about myself. If you only knew how difficult it is for our opposite personalities to get along. If you only knew how low I felt the night before, after trying clothes on this foreign body of mine and looking at my reality in the dressing room mirrors in bad lighting all day.  There’s a grieving process a woman goes through as she watches her youth die. I am great at beating myself up and I like to use one failure as a diving board to plunge into an inner tongue-lashing of ALL my failures. But Jeff sees me differently, and I can believe his loving response was sincere because I know him well and he is not a liar. I truly do not care what anybody else on earth thinks of how I look, but what Jeff thinks of me means everything. Nothing he could have bought me would have been a more perfect keepsake from the weekend than his sweet response was.

I don’t write this to promote myself or to gross out my children. The reason this is worth sharing is because it was such a perfect illustration of what the Lord has been trying to teach me. The more I learn about God and His holiness, the more ashamed I am of my sin and my very nature. I can quote the verses about how much He treasures me—the one He gave His life for, provides for, protects, sustains, communes with, takes pleasure in— and I have sung “Jesus Loves Me” my whole life, but I feel like I am a disappointment to Him. That’s because I don’t fully grasp that God sees His Son when He sees me. His grace is so much greater than my sin that He smiles at me and enjoys my company.  He likes my personality—He created it—and I am the only creature like me. Even though He knows me inside and out and all of my history and my every thought and failure, He delights in me, and I must choose to believe it because He is not a liar. He tells me all of this in His word and I have to purposely choose to believe it instead of believing that He is as disappointed in me as I am.

Toward the end of our anniversary weekend, I told Jeff to “say something anniversary.” He came right back with “You still thrill me.” Knowing myself, that’s hard to believe, but he is very convincing and I blush to enjoy his delight in me. 

I Need Church

I need church.

Granted, I’m a preacher’s kid and have been in church three times a week most of my life. It’s a rhythm that I know and anything else feels strange. In childhood, I lived next door in the parsonage and rode my bike to see the church secretary (aka Momma).  I know how to mimeograph the church bulletin and fold it perfectly. Church is my second skin but I don’t go just because I’m used to going there.

I need church.

Sure, as a stay-at-home mom, church gives me somewhere to go, to tell one day from another.  It gives me a reason to get dressed up and leave the house periodically. It’s nice to go somewhere and wear something other than the Mom hat, but I don’t just love it for a change of pace.

I need church.

Where else could you go where most of the people there, church employees and congregants, are purposely and cheerfully reaching out to you without trying to sell you something? I have found no other place where good will is more evident. This has been true of our former churches, our present church, and all the churches we have visited in other states and countries. Blest be the tie that binds our hearts in Christian love. It is miraculous to experience that kinship with Christians I have never met before and, in some cases, who do not even speak the same language I do. This human connection lifts my spirits like nothing I have found in any other place. There is no substitute for the sense of belonging that comes from uniting with like-minded people to worship and learn more of God.

I need church.

Personally, church brings together some of my favorite things:  worship, music, flowers, family. These have been life themes for me.  All of these gifts come from God and He is highly exalted when we experience their combined impact. It is almost too wonderful! I can honestly say that the few hours I spend at church are my favorite moments of the week.

I need church.

You know, tradition gets a bad rap but tradition is the stuff that connects generations.  Any tradition that brings pain or trouble should be reconsidered and would most likely fade out over time with good reason, but the tradition of going to church would be a good one to keep around.  I could do a lot worse for my children than to take them to a place that cares for them and provides  learning and support for every phase of life. If I am choosing worthwhile traditions, I know one that I’m going to keep.

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I need church.

When it’s my turn to face life’s hardships and life’s happy milestones, it’s my church that’s at the door, on the phone, and in my mailbox and messages. The church cries the happy and the sad tears along with me whether it’s my engagement, wedding, pregnancy, illness, loss, or anything in between. You couldn’t hire a team to provide this kind of support.

I need church.

But it’s not just what I get from church; it is a great place to give. There are always worthwhile projects to give to financially and plenty of places that even the most meager ability can be used. The church is a living thing that can use my gifts and in turn gives back to me continuously. Contributing what I have makes it mine and gives me a deeper connection with what is being accomplished there. My Daddy always said, “You can’t outgive God.”

I need church.

Major life events tend to happen at church. I was saved and married in church—my two most life-changing experiences. Every time I attend a wedding, I remember taking those vows myself and am inspired to live them out more fully. Funerals remind me of the imminence of death, which somehow keeps shocking me. We are brought back to reality in church and reminded of what is truly important.

I need church.

Church is a great place to celebrate the seasons and holidays (holy days). What is it about those special days that remind us of church? Our lives change constantly and we invite new things into them, but going to church brings us back to what stays constant: the truth. 

Any of the reasons listed above is a good enough reason to go to church, but ultimately we need church because we need God. No, He doesn’t live in a building, but there’s something about setting aside a regular time to recognize Him as our hope and the source of everything we need in this life and the next, and to do it in a place dedicated to that purpose with others who are there for the same purpose (the true church).

I have all of the reasons above to go to church every Sunday if I possibly can. My week takes me on a roller coaster ride of doubts and lies and discouragement. I know myself well enough to know what I truly need: I need calibrating; I need to be reminded of who I am and who God is.

I need church.

Books I Read in 2020

Reading for pleasure has been a desire of mine for years and now I finally have time to do so. I have managed to read a book here and there while rearing children but I now want to make reading a daily part of my life.  Since I have a habit of planning out a course of action so that things aren’t done haphazardly, I thought that reading a book per month would be a good starting goal: challenging, yet doable and with a time limit. I set out to do that in 2020 and was very pleased to read over 3,000 pages. I believe I have now made reading for pleasure a habit and hope to read many more pages than that each year from this point.

A self-imposed reading program is a great way to keep your mind active and learning. I would much rather be engrossed in a book  than to watch a movie; page time beats screen time. I do need to read things occasionally outside of my comfort zone to see things from other points of view, but I am talking here about things I read for pleasure.  I enjoy few things but enjoy them fully well.

📚Fiction—This is pleasure reading, especially with a book you can’t put down. It’s fun to step into someone else’s experience and know their thoughts and feelings. You can be transported to times and places you have never known. 

For whatever reason, I tend to prefer fiction set in the late nineteenth to early twentieth century. Perhaps it’s because it’s the century before I was born. It gives me a better understanding of what led up to my era. It’s easy for me to picture life lived with my grandparents’ housewares and gives context to old family pictures and the traditions I was taught. It brings into focus the vague memories of my earliest days. I am also drawn to the fashion and gentility of that time. 

Genres I am not drawn to are mysteries, crime, horror, thriller, suspense, action, fantasy, and sci-fi. It seems impossible to avoid it completely, but I stay away from pervasive foul language and vulgarity. There are ways to indicate that a sin was committed without describing it gratuitously. I am squeamish so I’m not up for detailed descriptions of gore either. That’s not how I want to relax.

I’m sure there was much lost on me at the age at which I read classics for school, not to mention forgotten since then. There is such a long list of enduring novels that I will never run this genre dry.

📚Non-fiction

     ▪️Biography—These are usually fascinating with many lessons to learn from others’ lives and a better understanding of the historical period in which they lived.

     ▪️Christian— This includes devotional, commentary, self-help, and theology.

     ▪️Homemaking—Since this is my life’s work, I should be learning more about it perpetually. It also includes interests of mine (funny how that works) such as marriage, parenting, organization, cooking, decorating, celebrations, gardening, and flower arranging, all of which will be future blog post topics.

We have access to books by buying them from bookstores and the internet or borrowing them from family, friends, and libraries. I am blessed to belong to a church that promotes and accommodates the reading of good books.  My church Circle (ladies’ small group that meets monthly) works through a Bible study book each year, and the Women of the Church meet weekly in the summer to discuss a book. There are also books for sale at various places on our church campus and we have a church library. Books are often referred to and recommended in sermons.

In a bookstore (which is hard to find anymore), I am like a kid in a candy shop. However, life has taught me that I can’t (and shouldn’t) judge a book by its cover. It’s nice to have recommendations to help me make good choices, which is important since I will spend hours reading the book and its ideas will influence my thinking.  Two sources I have used recently to determine if a book is right for me are the app Goodreads and the YouTube channel Miranda Mills.

My goal last year was to read a complete book each month. I did do that several times, reading a book start to finish within a month’s time, but sometimes I merely finished a book I had started in the past (like-ya-do). Then there was October and November which I will explain below. All said and done, I did finish twelve books in 2020 but not necessarily one in its entirety each month.

So here is my list; these are the books I completed in 2020.  I plan to post full reviews on several of them soon.

📘January

The Best Yes by Lysa Terkeurst {Christian non-fiction}

We are faced with decisions every day because life is too short to do everything. Choosing poorly or sinfully brings consequences. Having high expectations brings disappointment and a feeling of failure. Choosing too much leads to exhaustion, frustration, and panic. This book guides you through a gentle attitude adjustment so you can choose well.

📘February

The Red Sea Rules by Robert J. Morgan {Christian non-fiction}

This little book, no bigger than my hand, uses the Israelites’ journey in Exodus 14 to show us the way through our seemingly impossible trials. It is sub-titled “10 God-Given Strategies for Difficult Times” and was given to me two years ago by my friend Becky who is now facing cancer. Her spiritual strength has always shown her friends and family how to be joyful, and now, in her physical weakness, it is also showing us how to be strong. Knowing someone like Becky will make these ten rules easy to understand.

📘March

Captivating by John and Stasi Eldredge {Christian non-fiction}

God designed a woman to have certain soul needs. The world is a cruel place for that soul but God is able to heal our wounds and allow us to realize and enjoy the beautiful creatures He made us to be. 

📘April

They Were Sisters by Dorothy Whipple {Fiction}

Y’all, Dorothy Whipple was the discovery of the year.  I LOVE her writing style! The story is about three very different sisters and the very different directions their choices took them. Full review coming on this one.

📘May

The Message of Daniel by Dale Ralph Davis {Christian non-fiction} 

This was the book my Circle studied September through May. Dale Ralph Davis was the Sunday night preacher at our church a few years back. This book reacquainted me with his genius and humor. I have marked many places where he captured the truth of the passage pointedly from the familiar Bible-story beginning to the less-digestible prophecy at the end. One truth he brought out was that Daniel shows us that “consistency assists courage, and discipline feeds faithfulness (Davis, 2013, p. 88).”

French Women for All Seasons by Mireille Guiliano {Non-fiction} 

In this sequel to French Women Don’t Get Fat, Mireille Guiliano shows us how to take on a French woman’s attitude about truly enjoying life by eating in-season food and incorporating exercise into our everyday lives. The book is replete with French expressions, recipes, and sage advice.

📘June

The Gospel Comes with a House Key by Rosaria Butterfield {Christian non-fiction}

I finished the last chapter of this book our church ladies read in the summer of 2019. Rosaria is a pastor’s wife and former university professor who opens her home every Sunday for a meal.  It is radical in that every walk of life is welcome and it is ordinary in that it is not fancy by any means which puts her guests at ease. She lives her life and opens her home all week in this gracious way. This book takes the focus off the place setting and onto people’s needs. Truly inspirational.

All That’s Good by Hannah Anderson {Christian non-fiction}

Our church ladies read this one over the summer and discussed it over Zoom each week. God’s perfect world is broken but His work is still good. This book teaches how to discern between what’s good and bad and recognize habits that are not living in light of God’s power to redeem. I have marked many simple but helpful truths in this book that deserve periodic meditation.

📘July

The Education of a Gardener by Russell Page {Non-fiction}

Russell Page was a professional garden designer in the early to mid 1900’s. He designed for public parks, corporations, and estates all over the world. This books lets the reader into his mind and into his experiences in landscape design.

📘August 

A Gift of Grace by Amy Clipston {Christian fiction}

Coming off that behemoth gardening read, I just wanted something light.  This was the story of an Amish couple who took in their two newly orphaned teenage nieces and the struggles that ensued in their adjustment to Amish culture.  It was a relaxing read that I obtained from my local library.

📘September 

Presentations by Carolyne Roehm {Non-fiction}

This library find is a beautiful picture book of creative gift wrapping techniques and ideas.

📘October & November

Magazines {Non-fiction} 

I finally had time to peruse over 200 interior decorating magazines from subscriptions dating back to 2009. They needed sorting so I used my reading time for this task these two months.  My favorites are House Beautiful, Veranda, Traditional Home, and Architectural Digest. [Free to a good home. Let me know if you live nearby and would like them.]

📘December 

Hymns for Advent {Christian non-fiction}

This is one of the devotionals I bought from thedailygraceco.com at half price making them $5 apiece! They are beautifully done and I thoroughly enjoyed using this the twenty-four mornings in December leading up to Christmas.  One Christmas carol text is printed for each day on a beautiful full-page photo and followed by a devotional for the day showing how the message of the carol relates to the Christmas story. Scripture references and thought-provoking questions accompany each entry. I enjoyed beginning each day of advent singing a carol in its entirety.

I am already reading at a better pace in 2021 and will let you know of the gems I discover.  Feel free to recommend your favorites to me. Happy reading!

New York City with the Boys

Since many of you were interested in our last trip to New York, I thought I'd share about our most recent trip.

We are fortunate enough to live five minutes from an airport that has a direct flight to New York City which leaves early in the morning and the returning flight arrives late at night. This means that we get a lot out of a day without paying for an extra night in a hotel. This weekend our flight arrived early Friday morning in New York and we got home right on time Sunday night.  Perfect! This was our youngest son’s second flight in his life so he was due according to today’s standards. I’m pretty sure he enjoyed every minute of it.  It was a nice “You’re… (correction) WE’RE finished with the eleventh grade!” kickoff to the summer. Oh, and he enjoyed every second of the weekend and has been so vocally thankful as was his big brother. Our daughter was so very missed on this trip but is having a great time studying abroad in Spain so we didn’t pity her too badly.

New York is not my type of place in general. Crowds, smells, noise, and endless walking are not my cup of tea, but, as I go repeatedly and have seen the popular sights, I am starting to find that I can tailor the trip to be MY trip.  Having a son who lives in NYC and is so knowledgeable about the subway system and the layout of the city makes it much easier to go.  I am slowly learning it myself and look forward to learning of more of MY spots.  I see future trips being a slower pace of revisiting my favorites and discovering one or two more each time. I believe my cup of (high) tea will be had at the Plaza or the Peninsula Hotels. Window shopping down Madison Avenue on the arm of my handsome man under an umbrella was a bit snuggly and romantic.  One day I will find a shop that has my style and make it part of my routine. Anyone know of a shop that carries ladies’ clothing from the late 1800’s? Oh, I guess I will also have to find an alternate universe in which to wear those clothes. 

For such a short trip, Capers was able to pack in a backpack. My husband packed a carry on and we put our cosmetics in my checked bag.  With more effort, we could have made sure we had the required amount of liquids to take on board in a carry on, but then we couldn’t have brought home our Eiffel Tower souvenir Colton had gotten for us in Paris.  I am learning to take a larger bag than you need so you have room to bring home goodies.  I saw one lady who had a soft carry on—a quilted fabric style bag and I thought that it is probably the best way to do it.  It squishes in overheads where a hard case could not have gone, although you would have to carry it and not roll it and I would not want to set it on a bathroom floor! Tough decision. First world problems. I also recommend for ladies to travel with several gentlemen. You never have to carry a thing!

Colton met us at the airport and guided us to our hotel where we stored our luggage since it wasn’t check-in time yet. We stayed at the Residence Inn at 54th and Broadway so that we would be within walking distance of the things we wanted to do. It was too early to go to our lunch reservation so we went to the hotel’s fourth floor lounge which had comfy seating. Just what we needed. Then we were off to a delicious Thai lunch at Topaz Noodle Bar.  Don’t believe them when they say “a little spicy.” Fortunately, combining my mild rice with my husband’s “a little spicy” rice gave us both “still pretty spicy” rice. It was very good, though. We walked through the south end of Central Park for a bit before Jeff and I turned in for our afternoon nap and the boys ran off to see the world. 

Our room wasted no space but had most everything we needed.  The room darkening curtains worked great.  I am always wishing for more hooks for hanging things but I suppose hotels have their reasons for not providing more. We had a kitchenette that would suffice for an apartment complete with crock pot.  I didn’t happen to use it this trip. Trying to think of a case when I would use it in a hotel. Still thinking. I love anything that is efficient and that usually means it is multi-purpose.  I loved the stool that matched the chair. It could be a stool to sit on, a footstool, a luggage rack, and storage.  The storage was lined in a way that I wondered if it were also a cooler in which you could chill drinks.  A colossal ice bucket?  Someone was thinking. Our 49th floor room had a great view and we enjoyed it in every phase of lighting from early morning to dark. 

After our early flight, pavement pounding, and Asian-food induced comas, our footmen (aka sons) came for us and for Capers’ backpack and guided us to Brooklyn to see Colton’s apartment.  It’s a 30-minute subway ride from Manhattan and in a nice area of Brooklyn.  He walks past stores and restaurants from the subway and is able to get what he needs on his way home without having to carry it far. His apartment space is two-story and his room is as neat as a pin.  They have done a good job of organizing their small space and it is comfortable and clean.  Colton’s roommate happened to be out of town this weekend so Capers was able to stay with him.  We met two of his apartment mates.  Some of them graduated from the same school he did. I feel better having seen where he lives.  I don’t know why but it is settling for me as a mom. Then we took a bus to Dekalb Market/City Point which is like a gourmet food court.  We bought two $21 pastrami sandwiches to split and we were stuffed.  I have no idea who eats that sandwich by himself. It was fairly late when we ate and I dipped mine in spicy mustard so I had a little heartburn later that night.  I am finding that this ole thing can’t eat just any ole thing any ole time of night anymore. It was so good, though! Cool experience. Of course, there’s always room for ice cream because it just fills in the spaces between as it goes into your stomach. We had walked around the market looking for what we each might want for dinner but then we thought that it is better to experience things together and so we decided to eat whatever Colton was having and I’m glad we did.  Together is better.

The boys took us back to our room and these old people went to bed at 9:00. 

Saturday morning, Jeff and I had the hotel breakfast which was the typical nice hotel hot breakfast buffet. It is served on the third floor which looks just like the fourth floor lounge. We had tickets for 10am to see the Downton Abbey Exhibit.  I had wanted to go months ago and it was supposed to close in April but it has been held over and I was so excited to find that out. It is a self-guided tour though they have headsets to rent. The bottom floor is the servants’ quarters and kitchen.  It looked just like the set.  The cast appear as holograms from time to time to tease you. The library is a room where a multi-media presentation is shown. We should have sat at the back so we didn’t have to look around to see what was happening on each wall.  Very cool. The second floor is the family’s area.  The table was set and the bedroom was on display.  I have a thing about dressing tables so I loved seeing that. Many artifacts were included from the show which were from the time period.  The part that made me weak in the knees though was the costumes.  Pieces were scattered about but the third floor was dedicated to the clothing.  The detail! Designing and making my own clothes again is on my empty-nester list and I am collecting ideas. Learning about a craft or art gives you the capacity to appreciate what others have done. That was true for me this weekend in so many areas: music, acting, sewing, etiquette, health, happiness.  If you do not know how hard or rare something is, you cannot fully enjoy it. Knowledge is power: it gives you the power to enjoy.

The tour took only an hour. Then we mosied around to kill time until lunch. The weather was perfect and the streets were busy. We met the boys at Junior’s for lunch and then walked around with them.  We went into the Steinway store and Colton played the $97,000 Steinway for us in the humidity-controlled studio. Beautiful talent. Beautiful music. Beautiful piano. So much good. On to Bryant Park and then to our respective theatres.  The boys saw the musical “Spongebob” and we saw “Hello, Dolly!” Very enjoyable. Bernadette Peters was the lead role and 72 years old, Y’all. The worst part of our trip was the woman behind us who sang along and said the punch lines one second ahead of the actors. We heard her talking during intermission about how many more drinks she thought she could handle. It is so difficult to not share some wisdom with people like that but what good would it do? We exercised patience and were reminded that others have to bear with us in our own ignorant rudeness. Still our memories of a great show are not tainted by another GertRUDE sighting.

After the show, we headed back to Junior’s to get cheesecake to go.  I knew my friend was in New York on a family girl trip but we did not have plans to meet up, but, lo and behold, who is standing next to Junior’s?! We chatted and snapped a groupie and then my husband and I headed back to the hotel for some rest. It was already pretty late so I just rested instead of sleeping so as not to spoil a good night’s sleep. The boys came and visited a bit and then we all went to Little Italy to a cool spot called Piacere. The food was very authentic but the portions were not very large which is kind of nice so you can still handle dessert.  We strolled through Little Italy and Capers ate a cannoli which someone had told him to do while he was in New York. Colton gave us subway instructions to get back to our room and we obeyed perfectly.  It was cheesecake time so we each ate one fourth of the six inch raspberry swirl cheesecake we had bought that afternoon.  They sell it by the slice also but the six inch was cheaper if you were buying two slices.  Mr. Wonderful had suddenly decided my favorite flavor was his favorite flavor and ended up with a kiss on the cheek AND with cheesecake. I highly recommend marrying a nice man. It comes in handy when choosing cheesecake flavors and going to girly things like Downton Abbey Exhibits.  And every other day, too.

After a hard night’s sleep, Jeff went down for breakfast while I polished off all I could eat of the remaining cheesecake. Cheesecake for breakfast as you look at the NYC skyline: life gets very good sometimes. We stored our luggage with the hotel bellman and took the subway as Colton had prescribed. We collected Capers from the coffee shop where Colton had left him moments before.  Then the three of us walked to Redeemer Presbyterian Church where Colton was getting his instructions for what to do in the service.  You see, this is the whole purpose of this trip.  This is the morning that our first child to leave home was joining a church.  When we learned of the date of this event, we wanted to go but then decided that it was bad timing, etc, etc. As the time drew near, we decided that it didn’t matter what kind of timing it was; we needed to be there for this event to support our son in this good decision. The fact that we have a grown son who is willing to join a Bible-believing church is not just something that should go by uncelebrated.  We thank God for His mercy and grace that brought this about and we want our children to know that this is the big stuff.  This is a wonderful decision and a milestone in Colton’s life.  He has been involved already in the church and attends faithfully but he could do both without being a member.  This decision helps to tether him to a family away from home: his church family and God’s family. They will support him and encourage him and look after him. He is making himself a part of a local church and publicly stating who he is and what he believes and making Christian growth a part of his stated intentions. The service was wonderful. I always enjoy attending church on vacation because it makes obvious the bond Christians have. You can feel it immediately. This church is a one-race church: the human race. The hands I shook felt just like mine and our voices blended perfectly. My favorite moment though was when Colton took his vows and answered “I do” to the question of depending solely on the work of Jesus Christ to save his soul. I have heard Colton deliver many lines publicly on stage but none have ever moved me so. Praise be to God.

His church meets early so he had a favorite brunch place picked out for us called The Smith.  It had an early 1900’s feel with black and white tile.  The food was great and I heard that the bathrooms were worth seeing: each stall was it's own little room.  Next stop was the Flatiron Building. I forget the order of coffee shop visits from Sunday because there were quite a few.  When hotel check-out is early in the day but you do not fly out until late in the day, you have nowhere to take your Sunday afternoon nap. And it was raining.  And we were tired. So the cost of a chair to sit in was the price of a cup of coffee.

I wanted to see The Frick Collection this trip. I saw the Metropolitan Museum of Art on the last trip.  I say "I saw it", as if one could fully see it. There are New Yorkers who go regularly because you can’t take it all in.  It is massive.  It’s an elephant you eat a bite at a time.  So I should say I did a run through last time.  I will digest more of it in the future, Lord willing.  Without researching it this trip, I remembered that I wanted to see The Frick museum sometime and it turned out to be the perfect choice. Mr. Frick died in 1919 and left his home as a museum to house his art collection. The house is left largely as it was and the downstairs is open for tours. I would have been happy to buy the $22 ticket just to see the house. The mouldings, the drapes, the furniture, the paneling. Sigh. Then there’s the art!  Three Rembrandts, three Vermeers, a Degas, a Manet, and much more. We took a lovely Sunday afternoon stroll in Mr. Frick’s home and it ended by teasing me with a GORGEOUS roped-off staircase. Torture. Actually you know all tours end in the gift shop.  I bought a beautiful tote bag with a floral print taken from a piece of porcelain. It became my carry on.  Easy to please.  That’s me. 

We navigated police barricades which were there for the Puerto Rican parade after having toured the museum to their music (not the typical museum music) to get to the Peninsula Hotel where we got hot tea and sat in their comfy chairs. We each got our own little teapots and strainers and had a delightful chat while watching others have high tea. The petit fours looked wonderful and are on my list for next trip.

The boys had gone to Brooklyn to get Capers’ backpack so now we met in Hell’s Kitchen for French food at La Bergamote before our final “au revoir”.  Hell’s Kitchen is an area on the west side just SW of Central Park and Colton explained that the subway doesn’t go out that far so it is not as touristy. We were not able to cross one street because a man was in a rage on the other corner and we weren’t sure what was about to go down.  We scurried across when he went far enough from the corner that we could get by.  We had a wonderful meal and some French pastries to finish off a delightful day.

After stopping by the hotel for our luggage, Colton took us to the airport and went half way through the line for security before saying goodbye. A specimen of stamina and resilience. It’s a proud moment when the child you spent your life taking care of takes care of you. Once again, I left part of my heart in New York City and had a safe trip home. Dolly may never go away again, but I plan to. Until next time, New York.

Happy 🐝Be Keepers Day!

Today is February 5 or 2/5 which makes it Be Keepers Day because the name Be Keepers comes from Titus 2:5 which tells older women to teach younger women to be keepers at home.  The word "keepers" is often translated "workers" which fits right in with my corny bee--we are to be worker bees! 🐝 Titus 2 is rich with admonitions for older women and what they are to be and what they are to teach.  They should be teachers of good things.  

Titus 2:3-8
The aged women likewise, that they be in behaviour as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things; 
That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, 
To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed. 
Young men likewise exhort to be sober minded. 
In all things shewing thyself a pattern of good works: in doctrine shewing uncorruptness, gravity, sincerity, 
Sound speech, that cannot be condemned; that he that is of the contrary part may be ashamed, having no evil thing to say of you. 

Whether you are single or married, young or old, a stay-at-home mom or an outside-the-home employee, you have work to do at home. I hope my Facebook page and blog posts will remind you of all the Bible tells us to BE and KEEP.

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Loren Crisp

I'd like to give you some background on how this blog came to be. This is my personal story but it no doubt parallels your story--the challenge God has issued to you to take who He has made you to be and use it to build your faith in Him.

In 1990, I completed my degree in Home Economics at Bob Jones University, got married, and began teaching private piano at a Christian school. During that year, plans were made to offer Home Economics to 11th-12th grade girls and I taught that class daily for the next three school years.  

The cooking portion of the class was done in an old house on campus that had a small kitchen.  Since the class was only 50 minutes long, I had some prep to do for the girls before they arrived.  You should have seen that little kitchen full of girls, squealing, running, panicking for 50 minutes—not long enough to prepare and cook a recipe, and then clean up after it, much less eat it!  Therefore, I was left with one torn up kitchen. Similar story with sewing, just add machines that needed constant repair and an insufficient teacher to student ratio for such a task. Not ideal but we managed. I stopped teaching in 1994 to stay home with my first baby.

Fast forward two more babies and eleven years. I missed teaching and thought I could handle just two hours per week, so in 2005 I taught 7th-8th grade girls a class that we called Life Skills.  Knowing that it didn't work to teach cooking during a class period, necessity was once again the mother of invention and it was decided that I would video myself cooking at home, show the video in class, and have the girls make the food at their own homes for their families to eat. (This also forced Mom to get involved which was part of my scheme.) They would then fill out a short questionnaire to turn in to the teacher.  This worked like a charm, and I used the same idea for teaching other things such as sewing on a button, where it is difficult to show close-up detail to a large class in person but very easy with the zoom on a video camera.  I used the same videos to teach the 7th-8th grade boys the following year.  

My drive to do my best drove me right out of business as I gave all my energies to the class and was too exhausted to minister to my family at home.  Pretty ironic—teaching Home Ec but neglecting my home (Home neglEc?).  This was a lesson in prioritizing.  Family is first.  Anything that gets in the way of that should be dropped like a hot potato.  There come times when we have to ask ourselves "Is anything standing in my way of doing my best at what I'm supposed to be doing?". Something was and I had to give it up.

In 2007, our church called a new Pastor. His wife also had a Home Ec degree from Bob Jones University. I told her of my struggle and she told me of having a once-a-month girls' activity at her former church where they would spend a few minutes teaching homemaking skills and then have popcorn and a movie or some other activity.  I liked the idea but did not want to string it out so long or add any more busyness to our church calendar. We toyed with the idea of making and loaning out DVD's but that would have become a logistical nightmare.  After much consideration and prayer, I decided that I would start a blog.  Though the concept began as talks of church involvement, it is not a ministry of my church but is done completely on my own.  And thus is born Be Keepers!

I'm going to be transparent with you right from the start:  I'm scared. It has taken ten years for me to start this because I could not find the time to do it and I have been afraid to put myself out there.  It's scary to be transparent—to give people reason to criticize you.  I'm a private person—a recluse at times.  I like my world to be perfect and it takes a lot for me to deal with the reality of my imperfection.  However, I am now 47. (As I edit this rough draft, I just had to change that from 42. I told you it has taken a while.)  There's something about being in your 40's that makes you finally comfortable with who you are as you give up on becoming the idealized you. I accept myself for who I am—designed by God with strengths AND weaknesses; imperfect, but always striving to be more like Christ.  

What people think of me has always been important to me—too important.  I now realize that I cannot control or even know what people think about me. What really matters is what God KNOWS about me. I'm having to depend on God's grace to help me carry through with this and I will give it my best, short of neglecting my family. It will take a lot of encouragement from my "team" because Satan will be on my heels if this is something God can use, but greater is He that is in me than he that is in the world.

I am pleased and frankly surprised that I haven't had any "attacks" over my effort or content in this first month. I still fully expect them. No worries though because I am my own worst enemy. The ten years leading up to this were grueling.  I had ideas left and right and then the doubts would come and I would let God know that He had the wrong person or that this would be just a public display of my failure. I got so tired of this blog idea plaguing me constantly that I would just decide to let it die.  I wanted it to GO AWAY so I could stop thinking about it. 

It wouldn't go away.  

It's like that irritating song continuously looping in your head that makes you scream "STOP IT!" 

It wouldn't stop.  

I finally decided that I just had to do it to make it stop. Whether it lasted a month or a year, I had to go through that phase to get to the other side of it. I told God that I wanted to wait until I could really do it right. He told me to do what I can right now. I told God that other bloggers were writing the things I would have written and doing it very well. He told me that I could join them and be counted as one more voice for His cause and that there are those I could reach that the other bloggers would not reach. It had proven to be God's idea and not mine. So here I am.  

That was quite an excruciating ten years, but this last month has been that in concentrated form.  I have been through every emotion at extreme levels. It has made me really come to terms with WHY I am doing this. The final answer is that I have to. God wants me to. If no one else gets anything from it, at least my momma enjoys reading it, I get my thoughts out of my head and send them off to outer space, and I can be sure my children and their children will know my point of view. 

The things I am learning as a result of this experience are incredible! It's as if God has granted me a new level of light in exchange for putting myself out there.  Here are a few things I am learning:

🔹It takes a lot of humility to serve others in a public way.  You are working for a cause while risking your reputation.
🔹God gives you enough light to see only the next step.  I don't know where this is going or how long it will last but I am content that I am doing what I should do today.
🔹This empowers me to work hand in hand with God.  He's not far away when you live by faith but right beside you filling in the gaps. He gave me eyes to see an answer this week to something I have wrestled with all my adult life and I just cried and praised Him! I'm looking forward to a lot more of these experiences.
🔹I have never been so alive.  I know this is a tempest in a teapot (my head being the teapot), but it is my act of faith--trusting and obeying--and God is using it as my schoolroom.

Bottom line:  God designed each one of us to contribute to His kingdom and He proves Himself real to us when we exercise faith in Him.

I hope my testimony encourages you to take your next step of faith. When you are fully convinced that it is of the Lord, He will give you everything you need to accomplish it.

 
I'd like to thank those who have encouraged me to do this project.  

Jeff—there is no way this can happen without your picking me back up, brushing me off again, and encouraging me to live out who I am. You are my lifelong blessing.

Colton, Evy, & Capers--you have been my students and my teachers. You are the reason I was put on this earth.

Momma & Mom—I just hope I can help to perpetuate the likes of you.

My Pastor's wife, JoAnna, Kim H, Dennae, Rebekah, Dawn, Mary Ellen, Becka, and many others—you've given me nothing but encouragement for this project.  Thanks for the vote of confidence!

My Home Ec and Life Skills girls and boys (currently totaling 93) have always held a special place in my heart.  Watching you grow up has been a delight.  Those of you who have thanked me years later for what we learned together have kept that fire burning in me to teach others also.

To God alone 🐝Be the glory!