I am a firm believer in celebrating marriage. As a picture of Christ and the church, the Devil wages war on marriage. I believe it is the most challenging school of growth you could attend which makes the good times so very sweet.
Our 30th Anniversary cake, Stonehurst Place, Atlanta, June 2020
Last year was a big one for us: thirty years married! It however happened to be during the COVID pandemic and all of our children were living with us temporarily. We went to Atlanta for two nights instead of celebrating in some grander way. It was tough to find time or money to do such things while rearing a family so two nights felt like quite a treat. However, this year our thirty-first anniversary was our first as empty nesters and I rather like the tradition we set last year of going away for our anniversary so I hereby declare that the standard has been raised! Leaving an empty house that we have all to ourselves and paying for a small hotel room seems crazy but the change of pace and scenery is refreshing. It’s a big deal to still have each other after another year of marriage so a big deal should be made.
Our anniversary this year was on a Wednesday so we enjoyed a lovely lunch at the Gourmet Shop, a small cafe joined to a gourmet kitchen store. We then paid a visit to our jeweler Bill at Unforgettable Jewelry. In March of last year, I painfully managed to get my wedding rings off with a thin piece of ribbon. I had been wearing them for years non-stop since my finger’s growth over the years had made them difficult to remove. Once I became unable to remove them, I knew something drastic would have to take place to get them off. I have missed being able to wear them this past year and this anniversary seemed like the appropriate time to have them sized. So we left them with Bill along with the sapphire ring my boyfriend-now-husband gave me in the twelfth grade and a couple of other pieces to be repaired. It turns out that my wedding rings had to be sized up a whole size! It’s hard to remember wearing a 4 3/4 but then again the rest of me has sized up more than one size since then.
My 4 3/4 size ring and my 5 3/4 size finger. Ouch!
Friday morning we left for Charlotte and went straight to Smithfield’s Chicken ’N Bar-B-Q for lunch. After enjoying their show tunes and friendly service, we headed to Charlotte Premium Outlets nearby to divide and conquer. I made purchases at Saks Fifth Avenue Off 5th, Loft, Ann Taylor, and Talbots. Those are my go-tos and I don’t bother entering other stores at this outlet. Next we checked into the Ballantyne Hotel (click here for the post I wrote on this in 2016) and had a rest before heading to a late dinner at Viva Chicken for Peruvian rotisserie chicken and delicious sides.
Saturday morning, we slept surprisingly late and had brunch in the hotel’s Gallery Restaurant at lunchtime. Then we relaxed in the room and by the pool for the afternoon before our fancy anniversary dinner in the hotel’s restaurant. Everything was superb and it ended with a surprise anniversary dessert to share which was just right in every way.
We returned for breakfast Sunday morning and were served excellently again by the same staff from both previous meals. The workforce shortage post-COVID was evident but the staff could not have been more upbeat and attentive.
We went back to our room to watch our own church’s service online and then we checked out to head to the Sistene Chapel Exhibition which is touring the country. A rented warehouse was full of close-ups of the thirty-four frescoes of Michelangelo’s Sistene Chapel with a short write-up on each along with a chart of it’s location on the famed ceiling. The awe-inspiring experience of the real thing may have been lacking but it was neat to see the detail up close. It was a peaceful, slow-paced way to end our trip.
Or at least I thought the trip was over. I had spotted the Charlotte Flower Market on the way to the exhibition and looked it up, in doubt that it was something I could visit without a business license. However, after investigation and my husband’s insistence, we went and found it open to the public. I actually held back tears as I entered the flower cooler with access to every flower they sold. A rather dashing chap carried the bucket as I filled it with one beautiful stem after another. I could hardly think of what I wanted for being amazed at this happy development. I went home with a smile and a bucket full of arranging fun for the next day. What a perfect way to end a wonderful celebration of God’s goodness to us!
Well, that was the trip and every part of it was so nice, but I haven’t told you yet of the best moment. It’s a moment that I will Be Keeping in my heart. The night of our fancy anniversary dinner, Jeff was ready before I was so he left me to finish getting ready while he went to the car for his jacket and would then wait in the lobby for me to come down for dinner. I enjoyed my time of primping for my special date and took the elevator down to find Mr. Handsome sitting on a couch in the lobby. What I wouldn’t give to have a video of his response! Remember that he saw me 30 minutes earlier and has worked from home for the past 16 months and has been married to me for 31 years and dated me 11 years before that. When I walked my 53-year-old self into the lobby of that hotel, Jeff stood up, his face turned red, he smiled like a school boy and GOT EMOTIONAL! He walked to me and hugged me and kissed me and whispered, “You’re so pretty.” He took my hand and walked me toward the hotel restaurant but with his head down saying nothing but a few sniffs. It was the kind of response I could have only hoped for at his first look at me in my wedding gown.
It’s a miracle that I am telling you this, and I know I will regret being so transparent just after publishing it. If you only knew how I feel about myself. If you only knew how difficult it is for our opposite personalities to get along. If you only knew how low I felt the night before, after trying clothes on this foreign body of mine and looking at my reality in the dressing room mirrors in bad lighting all day. There’s a grieving process a woman goes through as she watches her youth die. I am great at beating myself up and I like to use one failure as a diving board to plunge into an inner tongue-lashing of ALL my failures. But Jeff sees me differently, and I can believe his loving response was sincere because I know him well and he is not a liar. I truly do not care what anybody else on earth thinks of how I look, but what Jeff thinks of me means everything. Nothing he could have bought me would have been a more perfect keepsake from the weekend than his sweet response was.
I don’t write this to promote myself or to gross out my children. The reason this is worth sharing is because it was such a perfect illustration of what the Lord has been trying to teach me. The more I learn about God and His holiness, the more ashamed I am of my sin and my very nature. I can quote the verses about how much He treasures me—the one He gave His life for, provides for, protects, sustains, communes with, takes pleasure in— and I have sung “Jesus Loves Me” my whole life, but I feel like I am a disappointment to Him. That’s because I don’t fully grasp that God sees His Son when He sees me. His grace is so much greater than my sin that He smiles at me and enjoys my company. He likes my personality—He created it—and I am the only creature like me. Even though He knows me inside and out and all of my history and my every thought and failure, He delights in me, and I must choose to believe it because He is not a liar. He tells me all of this in His word and I have to purposely choose to believe it instead of believing that He is as disappointed in me as I am.
Toward the end of our anniversary weekend, I told Jeff to “say something anniversary.” He came right back with “You still thrill me.” Knowing myself, that’s hard to believe, but he is very convincing and I blush to enjoy his delight in me.