10 Tips for Documenting Your Life in Pictures

Photographs are some of our most precious possessions.  If our house were to catch fire, the first thing I would be concerned about saving (besides my family, of course) would be our pictures. They are all precious reminders of the blessed lives we have lived.

Seeing that photographs are so important, we should work to be the best photographers we can be. I can't teach you a thing about lighting or making technical adjustments on your camera, but I would like to challenge you to think about the subjects of your photographs.

As we go through life snapping pictures here and there, we do not always realize the overall effect. What we are actually doing is recording history--a history we may want to relive through pictures some day or a history we may want to hand down to future generations. There are sometimes too many pictures of people who were not a big part of our lives and too few pictures of those who were.   I'm talking about documenting someone's life rather than just recording what someone looks like. With a little thought, we can record a more accurate version of history that will be greatly appreciated many years from now.

Here are some suggestions for recording your life in pictures.

1. Do not make your subjects look into the sun.
I realize you need light on their faces, but it is very difficult to hold your eyes open while looking directly into the sun. They end up looking like chipmunks. I have a picture of our extended family looking into the sun on my wedding day--a whole family of well-dressed chipmunks.

2. Be sure everyone gets documented at a gathering.
Have you ever seen pictures from a party and realized there were no pictures of so-and-so?  They managed to purposely or accidentally get out of the shot every time.  If they were there, it should show in the pictures. There is usually a family member who is very good about taking pictures.  Unfortunately, there are usually very few pictures of that person who is always behind the camera. It would be tragically ironic if the very one so astute about recording others' happy moments did not have his own happy moments recorded.

3. Take pictures of people doing their thing.
It seems only right to have a picture of someone doing their signature thing. Can brother stand on his head? Better document that. Grandma spent countless hours ironing for the family? Need a picture of that. Dad loved his car. Get his picture with it. Gramps had a little dog that he loved? Be sure to get their picture together.  I have a picture of my Daddy laughing.  When he would get tickled (as we say in the South) he would laugh so hard that he had to bend down to catch his breath.  I can hear him laughing when I see that picture.  It's only a memory now.  Memories are strengthened when you have a picture of them. 

4. Be sure to photograph the important elements of your life.
You should have a picture of every house where you lived, every church where you were a member, every pet you had, your favorite teachers, every car you owned, and every place you worked. Before my parents moved out of the house where I grew up, I went around and photographed every room.  I wanted to be able to see those familiar places and be able to go back in my mind to those days. There is value in photographing empty rooms.  One day you may want to show your daughter the wallpaper you and your mother put up in your room or to show that you had that cedar chest when you were her age.

5. On trips, take pictures of people, not just things.
I have seen pictures from vacations that had no people in them. I'm sure there are identical photo albums in homes all over the country of prominent monuments. I could have pulled up stock images of the monuments and architecture but what made it a special trip was the people who were there. 

6. Don't be silly in every picture.
Yes, it is fun to be the drama queen, but you need some pictures that are just of you looking like you look. Plus, you wouldn't want history to record the impression that you did not know how to be serious.

7. Be sure to get Mom's picture when she looks nice.
Especially when the children are little, the camera seems to come out when Mom is not prepared to be photographed. I have pictures of me holding sick babies in my pajamas, breakfast in bed on Mother's Day, and looking like a drowned rat at the lake. Take it upon yourself to snap a picture of your family members right after they get dressed, while they are fresh and put together. You will be Mom's favorite.

8. Capture sweet moments.
This needs to happen when your subjects do not realize they are being photographed. Don't get their attention and ask them to look at you. Capture life as it happens. Now that I am old enough to look back to long ago, I realize how very special those pictures are that captured everyday moments of our lives.  Yes, I love all the selfies and the formal family portraits, the school pictures and the smile-for-the-camera shots; but I really enjoy those that let me relive things that happened in our lives and to see people interacting with each other.

"I'm proud of you."

If I had said, "Hey, Guys, look at me and smile," these moments would have been lost forever.

9. Be sensitive to some people's self-consciousness.
Some people never show their teeth when they smile for pictures.  Those people tend to cover their mouths when they laugh, too.  There can also be a coming-to-terms with reality for people as they age or gain weight.  For someone to photograph what you look like means coming face to face with the truth. Facing a camera means facing reality when we imagine our 18-year-old selves and then see the 48-year-old truth.  For me, taking a selfie is not an act of pride but of humility. It says, "This is the current me. It is what it is" but that's the beauty of every age: accepting where you are in life. There are people with scars, a lazy eye, a bald spot, a hearing aid--things they do not want showcased.  All that to say that not everyone is happy about having his picture made.  It needs to happen occasionally to record history but remember that some may have issues that may need some compassion on the part of the photographer.

10. Gussy up your subjects before taking the picture.
We have had our family picture made years ago by several professional photographers who snapped the pictures without telling us what to do. Our positioning was out of balance, my son was in the process of putting his hand in his pocket, I had to ask what to do with my hands. It seems to me that, if they wanted me to buy the picture, they would see to it that it looked good.  Be sure the lady's necklace is centered, there's not a lock of hair hanging on a forehead, that his collar is not tucked in on one side, and that everyone is looking at the same spot.  Whatever is obviously out of place will be the place the eye goes first.  With all the work it takes to schedule and prepare for formal portraits, it does not make sense to be haphazard with the details when it is time to take the picture.

In this digital age, we have a lot more pictures than anyone in the past. Selfies are great but let's be sure to capture moments. We can forget what happy lives we have lived unless we record them. The joy those pictures will bring in our old age will be immeasurable.


The 🐝BeKeeper's Original Chicken Salad

I haven't created many of my own recipes, but the first one I created was a keeper🐝 for sure.  It started when I had chicken salad at a local restaurant.  Their chicken salad was so good! I ordered it each time I visited and finally decided that I wanted to make it at home.  I did my best to examine it and figure out all the ingredients.  I saw golden raisins and nuts in there. (I can't remember now which nut.  Pecans, I'm thinking, but several types work well in this recipe.) I jotted down what I thought was in there and have tweaked the amounts over time.  The result is a delicious combination that I have been making for years.  

Interestingly, when I went back and had the restaurant's chicken salad again after tasting mine, I found that they were not very similar. Not even recognizably close. But, hey, it inspired me to create a great recipe so it's all good.

The BeKeeper's Original Chicken Salad
Makes 3 cups

Combine and chill:
2 chicken breasts, cooked, deboned, chopped
2 ribs celery, diced
1 cup golden raisins
1/2 cup slivered almonds
1 tsp salt
1 tsp pepper
3/4 cup mayonnaise
8 oz sour cream
2 Tbsp minced red onion (optional)


I like recipes that include the instructions in the ingredient list instead of having you go back and forth from the ingredient list to the instruction paragraph, trying to find your place over and over. The initial command of "combine and chill" frees you to go to town putting the ingredients in as you work your way down the list.  Of course, you can take the word "chill" as a recipe instruction AND a personal invitation to relax after you get your cooking done. 😊 I suggest using a larger bowl to combine the ingredients so that you have room to stir them together, and then move the mixture to a smaller bowl to store and serve the finished product.

Chicken salad is great as a sandwich or on crackers.  It can be served as an entree (the main dish of a meal) by spooning it onto a lettuce leaf that has curly edges.  Very pretty presentation. Chicken salad on mini-croissants are staples at a party or reception.

You can cheat with the chicken. (That sounds quotable.) This is a great way to use leftover chicken from some other recipe or meal.  Grilled, baked, roasted, boiled, even canned chicken will work in this recipe.  Just make sure you use enough to make a thick chicken salad and not cold, runny chicken soup. 😝

Instead of "golden raisins" I could have said "any dried fruit".  My favorite is actually dried cranberries.  It adds flavor and color.  I have used dried cherries, also, but they require some chopping since they are a little bigger and tend to "bleed" into the salad if not used up quickly.  You could experiment with other fruits such as dried blueberries or apricots, or even chopped grapes.  Some friends at church have doctored (that's Southern for "messed with" 😊) my recipe by adding a little pineapple juice or even pineapple tidbits. I must admit it was a good idea.  Very yummy!

Almonds are great in this but so are pecans and walnuts.  Some of my people do not like "rocks" in their food so I often leave the nuts out.  You could always take out their portion and then add the good stuff to yours.  Just be sure you label the containers appropriately.

I list the mayonnaise before the sour cream to allow for the possibility of using one spatula or spoon for both.  If you have an 8 ounce container of sour cream OR if you are using the last 8 ounces of a larger container of sour cream, you can scrape it out with the same spatula you used in the mayonnaise jar.  Otherwise, if you had used the spatula in the sour cream first, you wouldn't want to then put it in the mayonnaise and leave bits of sour cream in the mayonnaise.  Hey, when you are the dishwasher, you look for opportunities to use fewer kitchen tools. And, remember, light sour cream works equally as well as the regular stuff. 

And why did I list the mayonnaise in cups and the sour cream in ounces? Why, how clever of you to notice! That's because mayonnaise comes in a jar from which you will need to measure the small amount and sour cream comes in an 8 ounce container so it is already measured for you. It also comes in 16 ounce containers, in which case you can either eyeball half of it or measure it out.

And, unless you enjoy tasting and smelling like red onion for the rest of the day, skip the red onion. A momentary pleasure is rarely worth a lasting displeasure.

So that's the scoop on my chicken salad!

Now, I could have just given you the recipe and kept all these details to myself. However, if you want to learn to cook, you need to read the details and understand how you can change things and get tips on smarter ways to do things. You can learn a lot just from reading detailed recipes. If you print or copy this recipe, you may want to go back and make notes about these suggestions.

Oh, and one more thing.  Just replace the chicken with shrimp and adjust a few of the measurements and you have my delicious shrimp salad.  It's good on crackers or, my favorite, a fork!

The BeKeeper's Original Shrimp Salad
Makes 3 cups

Combine and chill:
12 oz bag small frozen shrimp, thawed, rinsed, chopped
2 ribs celery, diced
1/2 cup dried cranberries
1/2 cup chopped pecans
1/4 tsp salt
1/2 tsp pepper
1/2 cup mayonnaise
1/4 cup sour cream
2 Tbsp minced red onion (optional)

 

This post is featured on Christy Jordan's Southern Plate, Meal Plan #4.


Mixing Nurture and Admonition: Parenting (Part 2)

[Continued from Part 1.]

👦🏻 You are not your child's friend.  Since you are responsible to make choices for his welfare, you have to be the bad guy sometimes.  My heart has longed for my children to "love me" but I have had to make decisions that were in their best interest which sometimes made them upset with me.  My job is not to win their love but to do what is best for them.  Place your happiness in God's hands, not your children's.

👦🏻 The goal of rearing children is their independence...from you. Independence FROM YOU. This is one that gets forgotten because we enjoy that close relationship we have with our children and it is hard to give it up. I guess the really scary part is to put the choice for a close relationship in their hands and fearing that they do not want to be as involved with you as you want to be with them. I see parents becoming dependent on the children's affection and company and not wanting them to leave.  I also see parents not teaching independence, making the child unable to function without them.  A baby is fully dependent on his parent for everything: food, warmth, even holding up his head.  From birth on, we are teachers, training that child to do things on his own.  We have approximately eighteen years to get them to full independence. We clap and rejoice when they learn to walk on their own, but are we as happy when they are eighteen and the training is done and they do not need our help?  I use the phrase "Be your own mother" with my students.  You should not need a mother (in the sense of needing a manager and caretaker) as much today as you did yesterday.  You should be able to tell yourself what to do. 

Getting that gradual timing right takes a lot of wisdom. Even with the little taste I've had of my oldest child going to college and interning far away in the summers, I can tell you that it is satisfying to the parent and the child for the child to have the wherewithal to be on his own.  Going away to Christian college has proven to be a good transitional environment between living at home and living independently, for my husband, for me and for our son. 

Sending our children into the world without having trained them with our point of view on how to handle things may leave them vulnerable.  We decided to allow our children to get a Facebook account on their fifteenth birthdays so that we had a few years to train them in how to use it.  We had many limitations on it at first but gradually weaned them off of those to see if they made right decisions.  When they did not, we backed up a step.  This is training.  I would hate to think of the trouble a young adult could get in on the internet by facing those issues on his own.  At least we were there to guide him through it and he knew our reasoning behind what we taught him.

👦🏻 Be real.  My children watch me mess up regularly.  It's embarrassing but would be more embarrassing and damaging if I did not own up to it.  There's no need to pretend I'm someone else to my children.  They see me every day, good days and bad days, or I should say when I do right and when I do wrong.  Your children will learn to face reality and take responsibility for themselves if they see you do it. I also want them exposed at the appropriate ages to problems they will eventually face. Seeing their parents deal with problems will give them the tools to deal with those problems when it is their turn.  My prayer has always been for God to use my successes AND my failures to benefit my children.  I just have to trust that He will turn my mistakes into lessons for them. 

👦🏻 Keep talking.  Talk about everything and anything. Your listening to her talk about her doll when she is four will pave the way for her to talk about boys when she is fourteen. Our goal has always been that our children feel free to talk to us about anything.  To make that happen, you cannot blow up when they drop bombs on you.  Expect them.  They will know about and wonder about things way before you wanted them to. No question was off limits--always in private but anything was fair game. When those bombs come, you should whisper "Thank You, God, that they are coming to ME with this." If there's a problem, they are seeking your wisdom.  If they are curious, give them just as much age-appropriate information as they need to satisfy that curiosity.  

I've heard it said that your parents are your lifelong friends--womb to tomb, birth to earth. Well, parents are friends to children in that they do good things for them but hopefully you really can be mutual friends as adults. You spend all of their childhood setting a foundation for this potential future friendship.  Keep the airways open and give the advice when asked. Then let the child make his decision about what to do and let him enjoy the reward or pay the consequences himself. This is a good formula for being the parent of an adult.

👦🏻 Respect your children. I have always acknowledged the fact that my baby was just an adult in his early phase.  I look at adults as former children.  I see a boy as a future grandfather. We are all our own people.  We just intersect each other's lives at different ages and life deserves respect.  

I have always said "Would you please" when I have TOLD my child what to do.  "Thank you", "I'm sorry", "Please", even "Yes, Sir" and "Yes, Ma'am" were phrases I used consistently in speaking to my children. Your children will not respect you if you do not respect them, and there is a difference in respecting your position and respecting YOU.  I wonder if the same people who openly mock political leaders are the same ones who are shaking their heads about "these disrespectful kids these days". You teach respect by showing respect.

I am horrified to see children humiliated in public by "adults".  You know, the ones who read a student the riot act in front of the class, the one that posts a picture of his child wearing a sign about what he did wrong, or the very loud mom in the store showing us all how to keep children in their places. That gets you nowhere with a child except to prove to him that you are not respectable.  Humiliation is not a tactic we used with our children, which made it obvious to them whenever some other adult tried it on them.  If they committed an offense, we handled it privately. (Remember, keep private things private.). And, yes, even if they committed the offense publicly, we handled it privately.  Any apologies were made face to face that were necessary, but embarrassment does not pave the way for a child (or anyone else) to soften his heart. Committing a public offense is childish.  Handling it with wisdom is adultish. 

Also, respect the child's dignity. Bathtub and potty training pictures are vault-type pictures. When you are in the baby days and your life is about bodily functions and issues, you are accustomed to discussing that daily. Some of the rest of us are not.  Those details are your child's most confidential information. Be trustworthy with it. Guard his dignity, even as a baby.

👦🏻 All children are different.  Even children who have the same two parents learn at different rates and in different ways. They have different interests. Do not compare one child to another.  My children are all gifted in obviously different areas and have their own niches, but even so, I could get an instant tearful reaction if I ever mentioned how one child got it right and this child got it wrong.  You just don't go there.  It really isn't fair. They are different people.  Do not hold one up to the yardstick of another, but speak in terms of doing right or wrong.  And do not forget that they all will not end up living identical lives when they are adults.  They are not who they are because of who you are. They are individuals with a common starting point.

 

Being a parent can feel like a terrifying responsibility but God never asks us to do something that He does not equip us to do.  Make "Lord, I need Your wisdom" your daily prayer.  There will be times that you have no idea what to do.  Stay close to God and He will guide you through this most important task of your life, and you will be the object of His help in rearing the children He has given to you.

Mixing Nurture and Admonition: Parenting (Part 1)

This is one of those posts that I hesitate to publish. I do not pretend to be an authority on child-rearing and frequently think of things I wish I had done differently along the way. I have three children who all have some great attitudes, but Jeff and I cannot take credit for that. Sure we are pleased with the good things we consistently modeled for them, but they each have to decide for themselves if they will adopt those beliefs and behaviors. 

Every child has a mind of his own. We can make him behave in a certain way but it is his choice as to whether he submits his heart to wisdom. My father-in-law preached a sermon entitled "No Credit, No Blame" which emphasized the inconsistency of taking credit for your child's good decisions but not blame for his bad ones. We should take neither one. We are certainly accountable for how we rear our children, but we cannot control what they do with that upbringing.

“Parenting does not produce the person. The person is “produced” by his own free will, the choices he makes. A child can be raised well, by good people, and turn out badly. Contrarily, a child can be raised badly and turn out well. I call this the Paradoxical Parenting Principle. Parenting and the child/person is not a cause/effect relationship. Parenting is an influence and one’s job, certainly, is to maximize the positive aspects of the influence, but even the most positive parenting does not guarantee a positive outcome.”
— John Rosemond

If you set your sights on your child turning out to be a certain way, you are setting yourself up for disappointment. You've heard the phrase "little me". Your child is not a little you.  He is a little him. He may have many similarities to you but be assured that he is his own person.  God designed him to be able to do certain things easily.  He has strengths you do not possess and that you did not teach him. Parents need to remember that we are simply channels and guardians.  While they do belong to us, we are their way of passage into this world and we nurture them until they are able to stand alone.  

Having children makes parents permanently vulnerable. Our children's choices in life have the ability to break our hearts or to make our hearts glad. I've heard it said that a mother is only as happy as her saddest child. The reality is that their adult lives are theirs, just as yours is yours.  It always helps me to remember myself at their ages and how immature, unsure, and unknowing I was, yet eager to tackle life and to make the best of it. They will learn the same way we did--by experience.

With those thoughts in mind, let's consider some specific attitudes we as parents need as we strive to bring up our children in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. These are good for teachers to remember as well.

👦🏻 Be consistent. Your walk HAS to match your talk.  Children can spot the difference instantly and nobody respects a hypocrite. Also remember that repetition aids in learning. Be prepared to teach the same lesson over and over.  One child may learn after being taught 20 times.  Another may take 2000 times.  Don't give up. Don't give in.  If it's right, you should keep insisting on it.

👦🏻 Set the foundation before kindergarten.  The parent of a small child needs to be on the job in a big way.  The child is figuring out how things work and you had better make yourself clear.  Set aside involvement in your other interests. The time will come later for those but you have a much more important job right now--training that child.  Just the physical work alone is enough to make you exhausted so trying to have other ministries or hobbies will just frustrate you, though you will have to be careful that the child is not convinced that he is the center of your universe. To everything there is a season. You have to be able to be on that job and still have time to maintain your own body and sanity with scheduled breaks. I think if parents were fully focused on the importance of teaching their babies and toddlers, their parenting work would be mostly done by kindergarten.  There have been many times in correcting my older children that I thought "I didn't conquer this when they were little so I am still having to work on it."  You need to be very convincing to your toddler so you do not have to keep trying to convince them for years to come. 

To see a well-behaved, happy child is jaw-dropping to me.  I am in awe like some would be of fancy cars or huge muscles.  It shows that a lot of effort has been expended to make that child so secure in his parents' authority and not fighting for his own way. Of course, the increase is not of us but of the Lord.

👦🏻 Mean what you say and say what you mean. I learned early not to make an empty threat. If you are not willing to carry it through to the end, do not say it.  You'd better speak carefully when you say what you will or will not do.  Sometimes I even have to write it down so I remember what I said.  I promise you that they will remember. Many is the time that I have immediately said "No. You are not going to do that" and then wanted to soften my statement after I've heard the whole story but hesitant to go back on my word.  I didn't have to put myself in that position if I would just be slower to speak.  Threats and bribes are not the way to go.  Think more in terms of consequences and rewards.  We are not their bullies or their beggars. They should know that there will be consequences, and rewards are something I have often kept to myself until it was earned.  They have no idea how many rewards they forfeited.  Keep them guessing with the rewards, not the consequences. 

On the flip side, say what you mean. Do not assume they know what you expect. Say it clearly, whether it is a curfew or "I love you." Speaking your heart to someone, looking them in the eye, is difficult for some people. Some would rather praise someone in a prayer or correct someone online than to say it to his face. We should be able to own up to what we say, and children need steady doses of "I love you" and "I'm proud of you," especially from their fathers. 

👦🏻 You represent God to your child. You are the justice system in your home. This hearkens back to being consistent.  You must make decisions based on what is right and wrong.  Punishment for a teenager breaking a lamp should be different based on whether they accidentally backed into it or if they knocked it off in anger.  We punish according to the offense (accident or anger), not according to how we feel about it (That was my favorite lamp!).  They shouldn't be punished worse if the lamp broke (though they would need to replace it) than if it just fell over.  You are punishing the loss of control, not how upset it made you. How we handle punishment and reward gives children an understanding of the character of God. 

👦🏻 In justice remember mercy.  Remember that thing about representing God?  He is fully just yet always falls on the side of mercy.  There are times that you show love to your child by not punishing to the full extent.  If you show mercy in every instance then there is no justice.  It must be obviously unusual.  They should know what they deserve but we should sometimes let up a bit, particularly when they have had a tough time lately.  There have been a few times when my daughter was covered up with school, basketball, flute practice, youth group, not feeling well, and deadlines that she arrived home to find that I cleaned her room.  Sometimes you just need a little sunshine to help you make it through. It is the goodness of God that brings you to repentance (Romans 2:4).  Being good to a child softens his heart and paves the way for repentance.

👦🏻 Just because they did not do it on purpose does not mean they should not be punished.  Children need to learn that they are responsible for what they do.  If they pinch brother's finger in the door accidentally, they are still the one who pinched the finger.  They should apologize and possibly be punished for carelessness. You will hear many times "But I didn't do it on purpose!"  This is a clue that they have not learned to be responsible for their actions. They should feel sad that the hurt was because of them. 

 

[Part 2 will be posted tomorrow.]

How to Put Someone in Her Place

Sometimes people get out of line and I simply must do my part in putting them right back where they belong! Where other people belong is in line ahead of me.

From birth we are naturally self-centered. We want what we want and we want it now! However, that is not God's way. He says that the way to true fulfillment is to put others ahead of yourself. 

Philippians 2:3b
...in lowliness of mind let each esteem other better than themselves.

To exercise this principle is to exercise faith. God can help create in us a heart like His if we will trust Him on this one. In Matthew chapters five through seven, Jesus preached the Sermon on the Mount. It is chock-full of wisdom from God. In chapter seven, He gives us what is known as the Golden Rule.

Some have joked that the Golden Rule is "He who has the gold makes the rules."  Well, I agree.  God owns the gold in every mine. He makes the rules.

So how specifically do we put others first? There are rules of etiquette that have been the conclusions of many people over time. Emily Post and Amy Vanderbilt are authorities on the subject. Understanding the rules of etiquette will give you a good feel for what is tactful and what is not. However, every etiquette tip comes from the Golden Rule. The fact is that once we decide to hold other people's needs higher than our own, the right thing to do becomes obvious to us and we enjoy life in the way God intended.  He is the ultimate example of living for others. He gave His only Son for us.  I cannot imagine loving someone that much. When we show sacrificial love to others in our feeble, human ways, we bless them as well as ourselves. 

There are countless ways to put others first. Here are just a few examples.


Do not call attention to yourself.  
Your liberties end where other’s space begins.  You are free to swing your fist anywhere up to the place where my nose begins. Being a distraction is rude because you are forcing attention from people who did not choose to give it. There are many levels of this ranging from loud music coming from a car to wearing strong perfume. Other ways of taking someone's attention are cracking knuckles, chewing ice, biting nails, and smacking food at a dinner table. It is distracting because of the sound and because of how crude and out of place it is.  A polite person is given attention by someone's own free will. An impolite person demands attention.

Social media is replete with those calling attention to themselves. Does your selfie accomplish a purpose (like showing friends and family your new haircut or that you are on a trip) or do you just want everyone to know how pretty you think you look today? Are you praising God for what He has done for you or do you just want to let everyone know how great you are?  A lot of this has to do with motivation so let's be sure to have unselfish reasons for our posts. 

Do not take care of private things in public. 
This one is closely related to the previous point but takes a disgusting turn. Scratching, cleaning out your nose, and clipping your nails are all things we don't care to witness. Use your private time at home or in a restroom to take care of your bodily needs. Even combing your hair, putting on make-up, tucking in your shirt or adjusting your clothes is "vulgar" to the keen eye of propriety. You shouldn't feel as though the world is your dressing room. Remember to keep private things private.

This is a constant challenge to those on social media. We can feel like the world is our audience as we have the ability to post pictures of whatever is happening in our lives. Do we need to know every detail? If I had a dollar for every time I wanted to comment "TMI"... Potty-training progress and stomach problems are disgusting, embarrassing, and private! We can pray for you just the same if you say "I'm not feeling well." 

Do not bring up subjects that are painful or embarrassing to the people present.
Someone who has gone through a painful or embarrassing trial is doing well to even show up and hold themselves together.  They need support and time. Leave it to them to bring up the subject when they are ready to discuss it, and it is doubtful that it will be in a group setting, risking a public breakdown. This is an area where you can accidentally (as if you do it purposely sometimes) put your proverbial foot in your mouth. We don't remember that someone just lost a loved one until we make a joke about death, and then trying to make it better only makes it worse.  It will inevitably happen, but let's think before we speak.  The more we purposely choose our words, the better chance we have of blessing others rather than hurting them. 

Choosing our words carefully is even easier on social media than in a verbal conversation because we have a chance to write a post and then think "Is there any way this will hurt someone?" before we post it. A laugh is not worth bringing someone pain.

Do not be nosy about the private lives of others.
In all Christian love, it is none of your business where they were last night or how much money they make. We can show interest in people but it is up to them how much personal information they share, and consider that information confidential unless they give you permission to share it. Money matters, contact information, relationship statuses, pregnancy--these are just a few things that are personal and take care in discussing. Let the owner of that information decide if they want to share it. If they do not then we should respect that. If Person A asks me for Person B's phone number, I ask Person B first if they mind if I give it to Person A. Just because someone shared information with you does not mean you have permission to share it with others. If someone is not involved in a situation, they do not need to know about it. That only gives temptation for them to draw conclusions when they have insufficient information.

We should never share information or photos on social media that would reveal more about a person than they wish to reveal. If there is any doubt, you are always safer to ask their permission first. Using your power to decide for them only shows that you are not a loyal friend and should not be trusted. Also, do not ask about private matters publicly. I saw someone ask recently on social media if a couple decided to take a position which was a change in employment. That was sensitive information and no doubt put the recipient in the position of having to make the decision to remove the comment or to answer before they were ready to make it public knowledge. At the very least, they stole the couple's thunder. There are ways to privately message people if your post might not be for everyone to see.

Do not compliment one person to the exclusion of others.
I see this happen all the time in person and online and usually without the perpetrator even realizing that they are doing more harm than good.  "Mr. Sunday School Teacher, you are the godliest man I know." She just hurt her dad, grandfather, pastor, and every other man she knows. "Mrs. Friendsmom, you are the world's best cook!" Well, that rules your mom and grandmother out--you know, those two women who have cooked for you your entire life? "Muffy, your dress is so gorgeous!" Biffy and Tiffy are suddenly self-conscious about their dresses.  There are ways to compliment and honor people without making it a slam to everyone else.  Your teacher can be ONE of the godliest men you know. Your friend's mom can be a great cook.  You can tell Muffy when you are alone with her that you like her dress, or say "Look at all these lovely girls in their beautiful dresses!" Of course, if someone has something obviously new such as a new hairstyle, it is fine to comment on it in a group, but if someone is "the best" at something, be sure it is the one who rightly deserves that title.

Strive to make everyone feel welcome and valued.
You know that "left out" feeling, like when someone tells a private joke without explaining it to those who were not a part of it. I felt completely unimportant when I greeted a graduate at her reception and she ditched me when she saw who was in line behind me and demanded to have her picture made with them. I wanted to say, "Okey dokey then. I see how it is. I'll just disappear now." We should never make someone feel that way. 

Do not mention parties or gifts you’ve shared. It is much easier when those invited were all of a group but much more difficult when people were singled out. If the whole class was invited to the party, we can see how they chose who to invite.  However, when there are Facebook pictures of your close group of friends going out to dinner together and you were not invited, that's much tougher to take. Mentioning something someone invited you to or gave to you just announces that they did not do the same for others. Everything does not need to be announced. 

Think twice before declaring your personal opinion.
You can obviously get into embarrassing situations by saying something negative about someone who overhears it. You should be embarrassed saying something negative about someone else at all, but even saying that you don't like things such as institutions, music groups, songs, and fashions can be hurtful. When you mock something that someone likes, that is easily taken as disregard for their opinion. If your opinion must be stated, acknowledge respect for others' choices if it is not a matter of right and wrong. Developing a habit of saying positive things will help eliminate this problem. It is better to voice what you like than what you do not like.

 

On the receiving end of unfortunate situations, we need to give grace and try not to be sensitive. Sometimes that is difficult when there is no other way the comment can be taken and someone's true feelings have been revealed. These suggestions are not meant to make us walk on eggshells but to reduce any hurt we might cause one another. A truly gracious spirit toward everyone will eliminate a lot of these problems. If we use our common sense, we can stop committing these common sins.

Being kind is all about showing honor to another person. It is hurtful to let someone know that their feelings are not being considered. A truly considerate person is a delight to be around and it all comes from showing respect to our fellow man.

🐝Be kind.

Happy 🐝Be Keepers Day!

Today is February 5 or 2/5 which makes it Be Keepers Day because the name Be Keepers comes from Titus 2:5 which tells older women to teach younger women to be keepers at home.  The word "keepers" is often translated "workers" which fits right in with my corny bee--we are to be worker bees! 🐝 Titus 2 is rich with admonitions for older women and what they are to be and what they are to teach.  They should be teachers of good things.  

Titus 2:3-8
The aged women likewise, that they be in behaviour as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things; 
That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, 
To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed. 
Young men likewise exhort to be sober minded. 
In all things shewing thyself a pattern of good works: in doctrine shewing uncorruptness, gravity, sincerity, 
Sound speech, that cannot be condemned; that he that is of the contrary part may be ashamed, having no evil thing to say of you. 

Whether you are single or married, young or old, a stay-at-home mom or an outside-the-home employee, you have work to do at home. I hope my Facebook page and blog posts will remind you of all the Bible tells us to BE and KEEP.

Loren Crisp

I'd like to give you some background on how this blog came to be. This is my personal story but it no doubt parallels your story--the challenge God has issued to you to take who He has made you to be and use it to build your faith in Him.


In 1990, I completed my degree in Home Economics at Bob Jones University, got married, and began teaching private piano at a Christian school. During that year, plans were made to offer Home Economics to 11th-12th grade girls and I taught that class daily for the next three school years.  

The cooking portion of the class was done in an old house on campus that had a small kitchen.  Since the class was only 50 minutes long, I had some prep to do for the girls before they arrived.  You should have seen that little kitchen full of girls, squealing, running, panicking for 50 minutes—not long enough to prepare and cook a recipe, and then clean up after it, much less eat it!  Therefore, I was left with one torn up kitchen. Similar story with sewing, just add machines that needed constant repair and an insufficient teacher to student ratio for such a task. Not ideal but we managed. I stopped teaching in 1994 to stay home with my first baby.

Fast forward two more babies and eleven years. I missed teaching and thought I could handle just two hours per week, so in 2005 I taught 7th-8th grade girls a class that we called Life Skills.  Knowing that it didn't work to teach cooking during a class period, necessity was once again the mother of invention and it was decided that I would video myself cooking at home, show the video in class, and have the girls make the food at their own homes for their families to eat. (This also forced Mom to get involved which was part of my scheme.) They would then fill out a short questionnaire to turn in to the teacher.  This worked like a charm, and I used the same idea for teaching other things such as sewing on a button, where it is difficult to show close-up detail to a large class in person but very easy with the zoom on a video camera.  I used the same videos to teach the 7th-8th grade boys the following year.  

My drive to do my best drove me right out of business as I gave all my energies to the class and was too exhausted to minister to my family at home.  Pretty ironic—teaching Home Ec but neglecting my home (Home neglEc?).  This was a lesson in prioritizing.  Family is first.  Anything that gets in the way of that should be dropped like a hot potato.  There come times when we have to ask ourselves "Is anything standing in my way of doing my best at what I'm supposed to be doing?". Something was and I had to give it up.

In 2007, our church called a new Pastor. His wife also had a Home Ec degree from Bob Jones University. I told her of my struggle and she told me of having a once-a-month girls' activity at her former church where they would spend a few minutes teaching homemaking skills and then have popcorn and a movie or some other activity.  I liked the idea but did not want to string it out so long or add any more busyness to our church calendar. We toyed with the idea of making and loaning out DVD's but that would have become a logistical nightmare.  After much consideration and prayer, I decided that I would start a blog.  Though the concept began as talks of church involvement, it is not a ministry of my church but is done completely on my own.  And thus is born Be Keepers!

I'm going to be transparent with you right from the start:  I'm scared. It has taken ten years for me to start this because I could not find the time to do it and I have been afraid to put myself out there.  It's scary to be transparent—to give people reason to criticize you.  I'm a private person—a recluse at times.  I like my world to be perfect and it takes a lot for me to deal with the reality of my imperfection.  However, I am now 47. (As I edit this rough draft, I just had to change that from 42. I told you it has taken a while.)  There's something about being in your 40's that makes you finally comfortable with who you are as you give up on becoming the idealized you. I accept myself for who I am—designed by God with strengths AND weaknesses; imperfect, but always striving to be more like Christ.  

What people think of me has always been important to me—too important.  I now realize that I cannot control or even know what people think about me. What really matters is what God KNOWS about me. I'm having to depend on God's grace to help me carry through with this and I will give it my best, short of neglecting my family. It will take a lot of encouragement from my "team" because Satan will be on my heels if this is something God can use, but greater is He that is in me than he that is in the world.

I am pleased and frankly surprised that I haven't had any "attacks" over my effort or content in this first month. I still fully expect them. No worries though because I am my own worst enemy. The ten years leading up to this were grueling.  I had ideas left and right and then the doubts would come and I would let God know that He had the wrong person or that this would be just a public display of my failure. I got so tired of this blog idea plaguing me constantly that I would just decide to let it die.  I wanted it to GO AWAY so I could stop thinking about it. 

It wouldn't go away.  

It's like that irritating song continuously looping in your head that makes you scream "STOP IT!" 

It wouldn't stop.  

I finally decided that I just had to do it to make it stop. Whether it lasted a month or a year, I had to go through that phase to get to the other side of it. I told God that I wanted to wait until I could really do it right. He told me to do what I can right now. I told God that other bloggers were writing the things I would have written and doing it very well. He told me that I could join them and be counted as one more voice for His cause and that there are those I could reach that the other bloggers would not reach. It had proven to be God's idea and not mine. So here I am.  

That was quite an excruciating ten years, but this last month has been that in concentrated form.  I have been through every emotion at extreme levels. It has made me really come to terms with WHY I am doing this. The final answer is that I have to. God wants me to. If no one else gets anything from it, at least my momma enjoys reading it, I get my thoughts out of my head and send them off to outer space, and I can be sure my children and their children will know my point of view. 

The things I am learning as a result of this experience are incredible! It's as if God has granted me a new level of light in exchange for putting myself out there.  Here are a few things I am learning:

🔹It takes a lot of humility to serve others in a public way.  You are working for a cause while risking your reputation.
🔹God gives you enough light to see only the next step.  I don't know where this is going or how long it will last but I am content that I am doing what I should do today.
🔹This empowers me to work hand in hand with God.  He's not far away when you live by faith but right beside you filling in the gaps. He gave me eyes to see an answer this week to something I have wrestled with all my adult life and I just cried and praised Him! I'm looking forward to a lot more of these experiences.
🔹I have never been so alive.  I know this is a tempest in a teapot (my head being the teapot), but it is my act of faith--trusting and obeying--and God is using it as my schoolroom.


Bottom line:  God designed each one of us to contribute to His kingdom and He proves Himself real to us when we exercise faith in Him.

I hope my testimony encourages you to take your next step of faith. When you are fully convinced that it is of the Lord, He will give you everything you need to accomplish it.

 


 
I'd like to thank those who have encouraged me to do this project.  


Jeff—there is no way this can happen without your picking me back up, brushing me off again, and encouraging me to live out who I am. You are my lifelong blessing.

Colton, Evy, & Capers--you have been my students and my teachers. You are the reason I was put on this earth.

Momma & Mom—I just hope I can help to perpetuate the likes of you.

My Pastor's wife, JoAnna, Kim H, Dennae, Rebekah, Dawn, Mary Ellen, Becka, and many others—you've given me nothing but encouragement for this project.  Thanks for the vote of confidence!

My Home Ec and Life Skills girls and boys (currently totaling 93) have always held a special place in my heart.  Watching you grow up has been a delight.  Those of you who have thanked me years later for what we learned together have kept that fire burning in me to teach others also.


To God alone 🐝Be the glory!

 

I've Been Talking About You!

Hey, Facebook Be Keepers Followers.  I have a secret to confess: I've been praying for you behind your back.

I launched Be Keepers one month ago today and I have prayed through the list of 350 followers since that time. I do not take it lightly that we know each other or that you "liked" Be Keepers.  God has a purpose in bringing us together. I want there to be a benefit to knowing me so I lay our acquaintance at Jesus' feet and allow Him to work it for our good. There's a gospel song called "Make Me a Blessing".  It doesn't mean it in the sense of "make me a sandwich" but in the sense of make me TO BE a blessing to someone. A life lived to bless others is the most satisfying life there is and the greatest way I can be a blessing to you is to pray.

I get along well with most everyone, but there are those with whom I have had differences.  I haven't grabbed anybody's hair in a throw down, but we have disagreed, probably without your knowing or possibly without my knowing. If I ever loved you, I still do. No doubt we all are trying our best to do what is right and I mess that up and you do too. The Bible tells us to pray for our enemies. Hopefully no one considers someone an enemy who simply disagrees with him, but if that were all it took then I suppose we would all be enemies. If we all agreed on everything, this world would be pretty lopsided. All that to say I wish the best for everyone and watching your life is a testimony of God's working.  It's a slow-playing miniseries that I catch glimpses of every now and then.  It's fascinating and I am eager to see good things come to you.

I do have an organized prayer life, but I also switch things up sometimes so I do not burn out. For the last month, I prayed for at least ten followers per day. I knew the first hundred so I was able to pray according to what I knew about them, but after that I had to go to your Facebook page to learn about you--children, relationships, interests. Fewer than half of the followers are listed by name.  I suppose some have your Facebook set to hide your name when you like a page.  That is perfectly fine.  I prayed for you anyway.

I learned that it is easier to pray for someone that you know. What made it easy to pray for people I do not know is that we all need the same things: safety, health, relationship and financial help, wisdom, and most of all Jesus.

As I called each one of your names out to God, I became excited to see you and to see you thrive and prosper. I saw your Facebook posts and wanted to say "I prayed for you today!" I hope I had some part in your success. It was neat to see things that happened. I prayed for a lady and her family and found out a few hours later that her daughter had her baby that day. A couple of times I prayed for people and then found that it was their birthday. Several other times I saw that the ones for whom I prayed that day were going through a difficult time. I've said before that I do not fully understand prayer from a human perspective, but it is easy to see the benefits to the pray-er and the pray-ee when I obey God's command to pray.

Loren Crisp

Prayer is just talking to God. He already knows everything you know, but a relationship is developed through communication, and if you do not have a relationship with Almighty God, you are missing out on the most amazing experience life has to offer.

The development of my prayer life usually comes from desperation. When you are at the end of your rope, you end up uttering a humble, childlike prayer to God--and that is prayer at it's best! When you make a habit of just admitting to God where you have gone wrong, laying out your burdens to Him, and thanking Him for what He has done for you, a sweet understanding of your dependence on God enters your constant awareness and you have a Friend with you at all times, and an all-powerful Friend at that! I wouldn't want to live any other way. If you have never begun a relationship with God, you can begin that with a prayer of turning away from a life of sin and accepting Jesus' sacrifice of His perfect life to pay for your sins to be forgiven. After making Jesus the Lord of your life, God will hear your prayers as His child.

I jotted down some of the things I prayed for you.  If you want to learn to pray, you could use these prayers as a starting point. I use "her" since most of my followers are women, but I prayed these same prayers for the men.

Lord, help her to maximize her opportunities for serving others as a single woman.

Keep her pure.

Give her wisdom as she rears those children.

Encourage her in the work You have given her to do.

Help her to draw near to You.

Comfort her heart as she misses her loved one who has died.

Thank You for the encouragement and example she has been to me.

Help her as she studies.

Thank you for her faithfulness to church.

Help her have the time to practice her instrument and have opportunities to use her ability.

Thank you for the time I got to spend with her.

Give her strength to meet the needs of her special needs child.

Help her to keep her vows to her husband.

Allow her business to prosper.

Raise her and her husband up to be leaders in our church.

Thank You for giving her that husband. OR Thank You for NOT giving her the husband she thought she wanted.

Thank You for all she taught my child.

Help her to flourish spiritually. Give her a taste of what could be. 

Give her joy.

Be with her as her child is in college/the military.

Help her as she teaches. Help her message to get through.

Keep her healthy.

Give her wisdom, courage, discretion.

Mend the broken relationships in that home.

Help me to be more like her.

Protect her from accident, crime, illness, disease.

Give her an excitement about her relationship with You.

Thank you for her upbringing.

Heal her husband of cancer.

Help her to show Christ to her coworkers.

Thank you for her influence on my daughter.

Give her wisdom in making decisions about her parents.

Help her and her husband to make a priority of their marriage while they rear their children.

Give her wisdom to know if she should marry the young man she is dating.

Help her to take the next step spiritually.

Thank you for her spunky spirit that encourages others.

Help her as she adjusts to being the mother of an adult.

Give her a ministry where her gifts can shine.

Please don't allow her cancer to come back.

Let her children be a blessing to her.

Help her relationship with her husband reach a new level of unity.

Help her leadership qualities to be used for Your glory.

Please give her children if it be Your will.

Please help my joy to be obvious like hers.

Let her minister to body and spirit as she works as a nurse.

Thank You for her beautiful voice.

Thank You for helping them through their child's surgery and recovery.

Thank you for allowing her to serve faithfully in our church.

Help her not to be lonely.

Help her with the challenges of being a military wife.

Increase his desire to know You more.

Keep their marriage strong.

Bring salvation to this home, whether it's for the parents or the children. 

Draw them to you.

Heal the heartache.

Stabilize the emotions she is facing today and help her to be calm and at peace.

Help her to turn to You and Your word for the answers to her problems.

Show her the emptiness of sin.

Allow one of Your children to reach out and show Your love to her today.

Help her heart to be tender.

Make her marriage what you want it to be.

Give her patience with her children.

Help her to thirst after righteousness.

Help her to be disgusted with sin and turn to You.

Let her know how much You love her and that her value comes from You.


As I prayed through the list, I realized that I am in the company of some incredible people! You may think you are just living your life unnoticed, but you are an encouragement to me. You are a survivor. I know some of your trials whether they are family issues, disease, or death of a loved one. Even if you haven't had some life-shaking challenge, you have relationship and financial problems, and you need wisdom and emotional strength. Just living life is a challenge. It's hard to be a person, but you are making it with help from the Lord. We need as much of Him as we can get.

May we seek and trust God to make the most of our lives. God bless you all and thank you for following Be Keepers. I will continue to keep you in my prayers.

 

The MayBe🐝 Game

Have you ever been driving behind another vehicle that was going slowly and you thought, "What in the world?!"  Well, when this would happen when my children were younger, I would play the Maybe Game with them to not only turn a frustrating time into a fun time, but also to teach them patience with others.  The game would go something like this:

Evy:  Why are they going so slow?!

Mom:  Well, maybe they aren't sure where to turn. Or maybe they lost their dog and they are looking for him.  Can you think of any other reason they might be going slowly?

Capers: Maybe they are running out of gas.

Colton: Maybe they don't know how to drive.

Mom: Maybe they are transporting a wedding cake.

Capers: Maybe their brakes went out.

Evy: Maybe they LIKE to drive slowly.

Capers:  Maybe they are going to the dentist and they don't want to.

Mom:  Maybe they had foot surgery and it hurts to press the gas pedal.

Colton:  Maybe they want us to run into the back of them so they can collect the insurance money.

Evy: Maybe it's a solar car and it's just not sunny enough.

You get the idea.  We would come up with every possible explanation for why someone was behaving in that manner.  This just pointed out the one fact that we knew for sure: we DIDN'T KNOW why they were driving slowly.

There are lots of times that I hope others are playing the Maybe Game with me: those days when I really just can't manage a smile, or I didn't have much time to fix my hair, or I really needed to stay in bed but had a responsibility at church.  There are lots of times in all of our lives that we just aren't 100%.  We need to be especially understanding of each other during those times. 

I remember visiting a friend in another state a few years back and, for a couple of hours, I was obviously out of sorts.  I was emotional and not very cheerful.  My friend put her arm around me and told me she didn't know what I was going through but that she loved me and would be glad to talk with me about it when I was ready. Then she walked away and gave me space.  Knowing that she had an understanding heart and that my mood didn't change her commitment to me as a friend made me feel so much better.  The problem eventually was resolved and I don't even remember what it was now, but I do remember that my friend had a "Maybe Game" attitude and I was reassured that our friendship was there whether I was friendly at the moment or not.  She could have reacted differently, playing a different type of game in her mind.  She could have played the "Forget Her!" game.  She could have thought, "What's her problem? She comes all this way to see me and treats me like this? I'm doing my best to entertain this chick and she acts mad? She's not much fun to be around."  If you know anyone for any length of time, you will eventually see them on a low day.  Friends help each other through those times. That's the beauty of friendship.

There's another use for the Maybe Game. It's not only for when you have NO idea what's going on with someone.  It's also for when you have SOME information and are tempted to draw a conclusion. This is how we judge others when judging others is not our place.  That's God's job.  When I am tempted to decide about someone's motivation based on the supposed "evidence" that I have, I just hit the pause button on my brain and tell myself not to think one more thought about it.  I do not know everything there is to know about the situation and it's not my job to decide about it anyway. 

If you play the Maybe Game when you see a picture of someone with a new car, you could come up with these possibilities:

He is rich.

He is now poor because he just spent all his money on a car.

He had just enough money to make a down payment and get in big debt paying monthly payments on a new car.

His dad had a dying wish of being able to buy his son a new car in his lifetime and the son is smiling in the picture knowing it made his dad so happy.

He has done without many things in order to save for the purchase of a new car.

He's just showing off.

He could have bought a much more expensive car but bought a modest one instead.

It's someone else's car. He is just posing with it.

Do you see how there could be many possible explanations for any situation? The fact is that we seldom have all the information we need to reach a right conclusion. Only God has all the facts. If we are not an authority in that person's life, we do not have to know why someone did something. 

It says a lot about the condition of my heart if my initial response is that they had some evil reason for what they did, OR if my tendency is to give them the benefit of the doubt.  Even when things look bad, I should be eager to think the best of someone. If that person finds out that you assumed they were out of line, it will be difficult to win that person's trust again.

I have made it a practice that I will not believe something bad about someone until I get verification from that person or a very reliable source.  Too much false information and ill will can be mixed in with bits of truth for me to take someone else's word for it.  We can easily get into judging someone's motivation when only God knows someone's heart. It is our job to be patient, to love, to forgive, to rejoice with those who rejoice and to weep with those who weep.

Let's have an attitude of graciousness. Assume the best until proven otherwise. If someone has never given you reason to doubt them, do not instantly assume they are guilty. It should be easy to give someone a break if their behavior is very unusual for them. If you have to make a decision about an issue, do not do it until you have heard both sides. This is how to be a true friend and to give out some of that grace that has been so generously given to us.

 

Southernisms: Colloquialisms From My Upbringing

We all have those unique phrases we heard growing up--phrases that we haven't heard since we moved away from home.  As I get older, they keep popping out of my mouth! My children grew up hearing them but my husband still looks at me like a cow looks at a new gate. I would call them Southernisms, though I'm sure some are also used in other parts of the country.  I don't know the source of all of them, but they remind me of my Southern upbringing.  

The South is known for using the word "y'all". This is a legitimate contraction that you all should add to your vocabulary. (See what I did there?)

"Supper" is a word that needs a little explaining. You see, we have breakfast, lunch, and supper each day but on Sundays we have Sunday dinner after morning services. That's an extra nice meal-- like supper at lunchtime. We also have Thanksgiving dinner and Christmas dinner which could be any hour of the afternoon or evening. Dinner is a special supper, but not necessarily at night. Catch my drift?

Also, the word "mess" is a very versatile Southern word. It comes in handy on many occasions.   "Look at this mess!" Things out of order.
"You are a mess!" You look horrible, or your life is out of control. It could also be a term of endearment, like after a child says something clever.
"Don't mess with me!" Seriously. A threat.
"Are you messin' with me?" Pulling my leg. 
"A mess of collards" is a lot of them.

Oh, by the way, please don't confuse being Southern with being stupid.  I'm not the sharpest saw in the shed, but I've got enough education, common sense, and culture to know what to say and how to say it, and the South is populated with many others who could say the same. Television likes to typify Southerners as stupid, maybe because that's more fun.  The South has a rich culture of charm and hospitality. There are intellectuals and their counterparts in every part of the world. There are also the God-fearing folk and their counterparts, each contributing to the culture. Some Southern phrases thankfully didn't make it into my vocabulary since my parents were the God-fearing type.

Several phrases that I recognize from my upbringing come directly from the Bible. Here are a few examples:
"I reckon" Romans 8:18
"You all" Romans 15:33
"What ails you?" Psalm 114:5
"Yonder" Matthew 26:36
"Lo and behold". Each word is used separately many times in the Bible but used together in this phrase.

Rather than write out the Southernisms dictionary-style, I thought you could catch the meanings by the context if I wrote you a story. This story is not true,, especially the parts about collard greens, my yelling in the store--I mean, my yelling at all 🙂, and my son sassing me and getting away with it. Some of the rest of it may or may not be slightly closer to truth.

Here I illustrate the Southernism "telling you a story", which means telling you a lie. With your permission...

The other day, I went to the grocery store and took Capers and Evy. I swanee they were in kahoots against me from the start.  First they fought over pushing the buggy. I said that Capers could push it since he needed practice driving before he gets his permit.  It wasn't long before he, Evy, and the buggy were nowhere to be found.  Lo and behold, here he came batting the ball around the corner with Evy IN the buggy! I said, "We haven't been here long and y'all already have me bent out of shape. Stop messin' around!" and with that I took over pushing the buggy.  I shopped a few peaceful moments when I realized that I hadn't seen hide nor hair of the kids for a good ten minutes. Then Evy came up behind me and said that Capers wanted me on the next aisle.  I told her that I'd be there directly and I continued to enjoy a few more moments of stress-free shopping.  When I got there, I found stuff knocked off the shelves and Capers playing in a house he had built with packs of paper towels. I said, "I declare to my goodness, what ails you, Son? You can string and strow worse than anybody I've ever seen.  Pick up this mess and stick everything back where it goes." He said to me, "This is MY house and and I'll put it back when I want to!" I looked at him with smoke coming out of my ears and said, "YOUR HOUSE MY FOOT! You have gotten too big for your britches! This 'house' doesn't matter a hill of beans! You are somethin' else! I don't reckon that I've ever seen a child be so ugly to his momma!" At that moment, some highfalootin lady standing nearby got TICKLED at us! I was so ill that I was at the end of my rope.  

I managed to get the rest of the groceries including a mess of collards that I wanted to make for supper. As I approached the check-out with my little angels, I saw that the clerk was a man.  A scary looking man. I mean to to tell you he had a Duck Dynasty beard, he was 7 feet tall, and each eye looked a different direction.  He was one.booger.bear.  I said, "Look standing yonder. If you don't quit acting up, he's going to get you!"  Guess what.  I had to die if he wasn't the nicest man you ever met. He said he was a member of the philharmonic. I wasn't so sure about that but at least he occupied the kids and gave me a little break. As we left the store, I saw that it was comin' up a cloud and, wouldn't you know, the bottom fell out before we got to the van. When I pulled into the garage, I cut off the van and took the groceries in.  It was then that I realized that I didn't have the mess of collards--the very thing we went to the store to get.  I wondered if that check-out clerk tried to hoodoo me on purpose. No wonder he was putting on airs. I probably just left the collards back at the store...along with my sanity.

I hope this exercise has helped you to understand your Southern friends. Maybe you would like to use some of our colorful phrases yourself.


I've got to scoot. 

Y'all 🐝be good.

Stocking Up: 2 Lists That Keep Your Home Supplied

It's that time of year again!

Time for me to stock up on cosmetics.  I have been stocking up in January and July instead of having to go across the store to the cosmetic department every time we run out of something. It is nice to not have to keep track of what is running low.  It makes a lot more sense to always have the next item on hand and not create the need for an emergency trip to the store. It also makes my shopping trips quicker so I can spend my time on more important things.  Cosmetics have a long shelf life anyway so it works well, if you have the storage space. 

I do have to budget $200 for January and July to do this. Cosmetics add up quickly, especially when you are buying razor blades and expensive facial products, but your monthly budget all the other months will be displaced by that amount. Couponers can get by on less but I just don't have time. Been there. Done that. There are times in your life when your time is more valuable than your money so you need to let your money work for you. Of course, you could coupon just before stocking up if it is worth the time and money you'd have to invest. 

I stock up on household supplies in April and October which puts me stocking up on one list or the other every three months. I have timed it to hit during my slightly less expensive and less busy times of the year. I copy and paste the master list into a new document and take inventory, adjusting the amounts needed according to what was left over from last time. Then I print that list and go shopping.

Below is my cosmetic list (minus a few items like personal products and make-up) followed by my household items list. There are items that I may have to replenish before the six months is up but it is nice to have back-ups on hand while they last. This list is for a family of four and quantities and products change as the children get older.

It is not feasible to stock up on some items like laundry soap and toilet paper because of limited storage space. Plus you would have to make a trip just for that item since six months worth would fill your whole cart by itself. And imagine the funny looks you would get pushing a cart full of toilet paper! Paper goods and cleansers are usually close to the grocery items in the store anyway so it is no trouble to buy them as needed.

You could copy these lists and add and subtract items to make it your own. It's good to include the specific brands, sizes, and even the prices so you can spot a good deal. I left a few details on the list for examples.

I hope these lists help you to save time and 🐝be prepared.

Cosmetics:
6 month supply
Buy in January & July


anti-perspirant/deodorant 6
hand soap at every sink 6
men's body wash 4
women's body wash 4
moisturizer 1
facial cleanser 2
eye make-up remover 1
lip balm 2
contact solution 2

cotton balls 200
cotton face pads 200
cotton swabs 750
non-acetone nail polish remover 1/year

flossers 300
toothpaste 4
mouth rinse 1

aerosol hairspray 2
spritz hairspray 2
hair gel 2
mousse 1
shampoo 5
conditioner 3

aftershave 1
men's shave gel 6
men's razor blades 6
women's shave gel 7
women's travel shave gel  2
women's razor blades 6

Household Items:
6 month supply
Buy in April & October


  allergy medicine (antihistamine) 1
  adhesive bandages 1
  cough medicine 1
  cough drops 2    
  hydrocortisone 1    
  pain reliever 1    
  cold medicine 1
  dry eye drops 1 

  vent filters (14x20) 8
  light bulbs (60W) 4 

  tape dispenser refills 2    
  printer ink (Epson WF-3530) #126 or 127
  copy paper 2
  sticky notes 1
  postage stamps 3 sheets


  gift bags 4
  gift wrap--all occasions 1
  tissue paper 1
  male birthday cards 5/year    
  female birthday cards 10/year    
  sympathy cards 12/year
  new baby cards 4/year    
  graduation cards 5
  wedding cards 4/year
  kid birthday cards 7girl/7boy/year    
  anniversary cards 7/year    

  small Kleenex packs 2
  aluminum foil 1
  cellophane 1
  wax paper 1
  parchment paper 1    
  snack bags 1
  sandwich bags 1
  freezer bags --quart 1
  freezer bags--gallon 2
  bathroom cups 1


  scouring pads 1    
  hand dishwashing detergent 6
  dishwasher rinse aid 3
  bathroom cleanser 1
  bathroom cleanser wipes 2
  toilet cleanser 3
  glass cleaner 2
  furniture polish 1    
  spray stain remover 1
  spray starch 2 

 

An Unlikely Grocery List

The grocery store provides a lot more than a place to buy food and household needs.  I get my workout pushing that buggy (that's Southern for "shopping cart"), especially since the front right wheel is ALWAYS 😉 going wacky.  You load that puppy up with bottled water, laundry detergent, and a week's worth of groceries, push it all over the store, unload it onto the belt, reload it into your buggy, push it uphill to your vehicle, load it into the trunk, and unload it again when you get home.  THAT is a workout!  It totally counts in my book.

But there is another task I accomplish while in the store.  

I pray.  

Everywhere I look I am reminded of someone I know.  There are names on all the products and I think fondly of my friends and family. I have told people before that I thought of them, but what good does that really do?  If I'm going to think of someone, I had about as well go ahead and pray for them.  There are many people that I know that are not on my prayer list but I would still like to say I have prayed for them. That should be one of the benefits of being my friend.  I have decided to pray for folks whenever I am reminded, and the grocery store is full of reminders.  

One store has the word "Always" posted throughout the store. That reminds me to pray, too, because Luke 18:1 says that we "ought ALWAYS to pray."


I just went to the store the other day and prayed my way through.  Here is the "prayer list" my store provided this time:

 

Of course, THIS reminded me to pray for my husband...

 
 

 

And I prayed for myself when I saw this--for strength to resist!

 
 

 

You know, everybody needs prayer.  And it's ok if we don't understand how it works.  I mean why should the Creator of the Universe wait for my plea in order to do something?  How many prayers does it take?  The Bible gives us answers to many of our questions but the bottom line is that God commands us to pray. We exercise faith when we trust Him and obey.

There is so much I would love to do for people.  Some would say that the least I can do is pray for them, but I submit that it is the greatest thing I could do for them.  

So from now on, don't just be reminded of someone--🐝be reminded to PRAY for someone.

And don't forget to ALWAYS pray for the last name you see before leaving the store...


🐝Be-Nana Pudding

For our very first recipe, I chose a simple and Southern one: Banana Pudding. Some of y'all need a taste of the South anyhow so I have added a teaspoon of Southern flavoring to this post. Now, if you are truly Southern, you might tend to call it 'Nana Puddin'.  I guess we Southerners are just too busy to say all those unnecessary syllables and letters.  Plus 'Nana Puddin' is somethin' we say often enough that we know exactly what we mean AND there are lots of grandmas around here named Nana so maybe we're just talking about their puddin'.

This recipe is a great one for you to make as a beginner because it doesn't require any "cooking".  There is no heat involved and hardly any measuring (just the milk).  If you can use a hand mixer and layer the ingredients, you can make this recipe. Actually, a hand-held whisk would work, too.

PC: Evy Beach

You will want to mix this in a large mixing bowl so that you don't sling the ingredients all over kingdom come when the mixer comes on.  Always keep the beaters straight up and down.  That apron is going to come in handy on this one!  The first speed on the mixer is all you need and remember to always keep a hold of the bowl in which you are mixing or you will be cleaning pudding off the floor. And since there is no egg in this recipe, you may lick the beaters.

The only thing you will have to measure is the milk.  Measure it in a glass or clear plastic measuring cup that has the measurements marked up the sides.  Set it on the counter and stoop down to look at it at eye level to be sure it is exactly 2 cups.

PC: Evy Beach

Don't forget to follow the instruction about leaving 1/3 of the whipped topping.  I use a clean spatula to section it off and then push the other 2/3 into the mixing bowl.  See?  They told you that you would use math in real life! There are lots of fractions in cooking, but they are as easy as pie.

That word "divided" is important to note. When an ingredient is divided, it means that you will eventually use that whole amount in the recipe, but part of it at one time and the rest at another time. Be sure not to dump the whole amount in at the first use.

PC: Evy Beach

The trickiest part of this recipe is to get the ingredients mixed smoothly.  When incorporating things like sour cream, the mixer may tend to chop it up into little chunks so make sure you mix until it is smooth.  

By the way, the lid to that sour cream makes a great disposable spoon rest (if you are using all of an 8 ounce container). Use it and toss it. There will be no pudding to wipe off of the counter!

You will want to stop the mixer, scrape the sides and bottom of the bowl to make sure everything is blended, and then mix just a little bit longer.

Now you are ready to put the dessert together. "Desert" (like in the Sahara Desert) has one "s"-- just the bare necessities; nothing extra. Dessert IS something extra. It has two. Someone once told me they look at those two s's and think "strawberry shortcake".

Assembling the banana pudding is just a matter of layering.  I use a clear glass bowl so you can see the wafers lining the bowl.  Start by making a layer of vanilla wafers in the bottom of the bowl and then one row going up the sides.  Now peel and slice a banana. A table knife is sharp enough to slice bananas and provides a safe way for you to learn to chop food. Lay the slices on all the wafers you have put in so far.  Now add just enough of the pudding to cover the wafers and bananas.  You may need to push it around with the spatula to cover the bananas. The pudding holds the wafers in place.  Now add a few more rows of wafers and bananas and follow by putting pudding [Hey, that's fun to say! 😉] on top.  Do this until you use all of the pudding.

PC: Evy Beach

I like to place banana slices and then wafers over the top surface of the banana pudding so that you get bananas and wafers in every spoonful.

The final step is to spread that reserved whipped topping over the top of the whole dessert. Remember that it is the air that makes the bananas turn brown (oxidation) so you want to cover them completely.  Cover the bowl with plastic wrap and chill it in the refrigerator for several hours.  Bananas start turning brown quickly so this is a dessert that doesn't keep very long. It's so good that it won't last long anyway!

PC: Evy Beach

When I need to double this recipe for a bigger crowd, I like to do an extra layer of wafers and bananas through the middle, like I described doing on the top. I almost said "This recipe may be doubled" but that always makes me say "Duh!" when I see that.  Of course, you can double it!  Make it as many times over as you want.

Banana Pudding is a great dessert to serve with a heavy or spicy meal. It is much lighter than some desserts, the flavor is mild so it doesn't compete with strong flavors, and that chilled pudding may be just what you need to cool down a burning tongue.

Now keep all of those tips in mind as you follow the recipe. Don't forget to W.A.I.T.! 

 

Let's review some things you learned.

1. Liquids are measured at eye level in transparent measuring cups.

2. Use a disposable container lid as a temporary spoon rest.

3. The word "divided" in a recipe means to use part now and part later.

4. Dessert is spelled with two s's.

5. Oxidation makes peeled bananas turn brown when they react with air.

6. "Putting pudding" is fun to say. Putting pudding, putting pudding, putting pudding...

PC: Evy Beach

🐝Be-Nana Pudding
makes 6-8 servings

2 cups milk
2 (3.4 oz) packages vanilla instant pudding and pie filling
8 oz whipped topping, divided
8 oz sour cream
1 (11 oz) box vanilla wafers
3-4 ripe bananas, sliced


1. Mix the first 4 ingredients, saving one-third of the whipped topping.
2. In a large bowl, layer wafers, bananas, and mixture.
3. Top with the reserved whipped topping.
4. Keep refrigerated.

 

This recipe is featured on Christy Jordan's Southern Plate Meal Plan Monday #5. 

Piano Lessons: 10 Life Lessons the Piano Taught Me

PC: Evy Beach

I have been enamored with the piano since I was a little girl.  Both of my parents played and all of us children had lessons.  I remember watching my mother's hands as she played and just could not understand how she knew which notes to press.  

I started piano lessons when I was nine years old and have been a student of the piano ever since. I'm no virtuoso, but I really enjoy playing.  It is a gift my parents gave me that I reopen almost every day. I even get to play in church frequently. However, there have been many times even as an adult that I wanted to give it up, but it is never long until I find myself right back on that bench again.  It is my relaxation and my communion with God.  Even if no one ever heard me play, it is mine to enjoy.

I have gone from piano student to piano teacher. Ha! "Piano teacher." I've never taught the piano a thing, but it sure has taught me a lot.


Lessons the piano taught me:

1. Don't dwell on mistakes. Keep going.    
"What just happened? B flat is right, isn't it? I can't believe I missed that! I am ruining this worship service!" These are my thoughts after a mistake as I continue playing the rest of the song. Being paralyzed by a mistake causes me to be unprepared for the next thing. Mistakes should be like a glass of cold water in my face--now on full alert and focused on what is next. There will be time for reflection later but now it's time to get it done. God's mercies are new every morning.

Don't let the past debilitate you. Move on.


2. I can do hard things.  
I could give up on a piece after the first try saying "It's too hard for me. I can't do it." But I have seen too many times what consistent work can do to let something difficult stop me. The first time is the hardest. Once that's behind me, it gets easier and easier...and I become a stronger and stronger musician. As a Christian, I can call on God to strengthen me and He does for me what I could not do on my own.

Let God surprise you with what He can do through you.


3. Just because I am focused on my mistakes doesn't mean everyone else is.  
I have felt like a failure after playing less than ideally in church and those are the times people tell me they were so blessed, and not just because they felt sorry for me -- they honestly didn't hear anything wrong. I wonder if God does a miracle on people's ears and allows them to hear right notes when I hear wrong ones. I have learned to just thank them instead of trying to convince them that it wasn't as good as they think.

Be glad for the good you did.


4.  The journey is more fun than arriving at the destination.  
How I enjoy playing the piano at home preparing to play in church! It's fun. I worship. I cry.  I express myself to God and am focused on Who He is. I think through problems and feelings. The creative juices flow. When it's time to play in church, I am just sharing with others what's been going on at home and hoping they hear my heart. However, sometimes I get this "can I get off the roller coaster at the top of the hill" feeling when it is time to approach the bench, and I feel relieved when it is over. I still enjoy it, but the most enjoyment was in the preparation.

Enjoy the process.


5.  Performance is a mind game.  
If I'm thinking about who's listening, that my shoe is squeaking, my leg is shaking, someone just sneezed, my nose itches, I hear people talking, I should have trimmed my nails, and so on, I will lose my place or not be ready for the hard part or even botch the part I never missed before. Focus is the challenge, and it is a life skill that helps me perform.

Be in the moment.


6. It is rarely as good in performance as it was in practice.
An unfamiliar piano and nerves are two challenges I didn't face at home. Also, there is no need to think I will get it even mostly right this one time if I haven't done it perfectly right many times in practice.

Your private performance must surpass your public performance.

(By the way, did you ever realize that pianists are musicians who rarely perform on their own instruments? We have to adjust during performance to an instrument that we have had little to no experience playing. The touch, the pedal, the music stand, the sound--it's all different than the many times we practiced. At least we don't have to put it together, tune it, and worry about it being lost or stolen everywhere we go.)

7.  I will miss it if i don't anticipate it.
Here comes that tricky part. Flag it. Write a note. It will trip me up every time if I am not  expecting it. In practice, I have to comb through the measures to pinpoint the problem. This works a lot better than just playing through the whole piece the same way over and over.

Deal with problems head on.


8.  When there is too much to do, I must leave something out. 
When accompanying, the beat goes on whether or not I play every note.  Maybe I can put them in once I get more familiar with the piece, but there is no sense in sacrificing the whole piece just to say I played it all. Moms and students, I hope you get this one especially.  This can take the panic out of your life.

Are you going to do the important stuff well, or are you going to do everything? 


9.  When I am solo, no one is controlling my tempo but me.  
There is no need to go faster than I am able to go.  If I am the only one playing, I can play the speed I want to play. I will get there eventually, but it might be better if I get there at a slower pace.

Don't get ahead of yourself.


10. A modest success is better than a fantastic failure.
I can play advanced hymn arrangements. At home alone. On my instrument. On my best day. After a ton of practice. But add one listening ear and I am no longer at the top of my game. Therefore, I should take one step back and perform intermediate or early advanced pieces in public. Playing an easier piece well feels better than quivering through a harder one.

Know your strength level and shine there.

PC: Evy Beach


I am finding that the things in my life that frustrate me the most and tempt me to give up--playing the piano, being a wife, being a mother--are the things that are instruments of my greatest growth and joy. I'm (figuratively) screaming "I QUIT!" in the same breath that I'm (literally) whispering "God, help me! OK. Let's figure this thing out." There is something magnetic about these challenges that has my mind programmed to keep on with it. Try again. This is my life and it's not going away.  As much as I wish I could escape the difficulties, I jump right back in and keep working at it. 

You see, once you love something, you don't WANT to give it up. I'm talking about a committed love that says, "Good or bad, I'm here to stay." And honing a skill, being a wife, and rearing children are all worth the blood, sweat, and tears. Easily.

Faithfulness. Going on in spite of difficulty. THAT is what the piano taught me. And THAT is the key to success. 

W.A.I.T.! 🐝Be4 U Cook

There are some basic things we need to talk about before you begin to cook.  Today we will talk about the very, very first things you must do before preparing food.  In my Life Skills class, when I say, "OK, Ladies, we are ready to cook.", they exclaim in unison, "WAIT!"

PC: Colton Beach

(Now I have to start with a side note.  It is obvious why you would wash your hands before you handle food so washing hands definitely has to be in the list.  HOWEVER, you REALLY need to wash your hands AFTER you have handled your hair and the trashcan so I recommend washing your hands last but A.I.T.W. doesn't spell anything so washing hands had to go first. So, there.)

Let's start with A, shall we?  

A is for "apron".  It is important to protect your clothes from your food (and to protect your food from your clothes) with the use of an apron. Aprons come in various shapes and few sizes and make a great first sewing project (no zippers or buttonholes, doesn't have to leave the house, simple construction). Wearing an apron is basically like wearing a dish towel on which you can dry your hands. 

I learned the hard way about wearing an apron.  It was a Sunday after church when I was wearing my REALLY AWESOME WHITE skirt while stirring SPAGHETTI SAUCE.  Yep.  I tried everything to get that stain out to no avail. And it can take much less than spaghetti sauce to ruin clothing, like a grease spot, for instance. Some aprons have handy dandy pockets--the perfect place to keep your ponytail holder for your hair.  Your hair must be pinned back while you cook to avoid dropping a hair in the food [shiver].

It's either that or a hairnet. 😳

(Hair had to be included with apron because there was nowhere else that it fit in the acrostic.  W.H.A.I.T.?  W.A.I.T.H.?  W.A.I.H.T?  No, it just wasn't working.  Plus, they are closely related in that the apron and hair both have to do with protecting yourself and the food. Call it A for appearance if it makes you feel better.)

I is for "ingredients". (I is? I am for ingredients? THE WORD "INGREDIENTS" BEGINS WITH THE LETTER "I"!) The ingredients to make a recipe should be gathered before you begin to cook so that you can be sure you have everything you will need. Even if you are sure you bought everything you need, some family member may have used it up, not that that ever happens at my house. Sometimes eggs, butter, and cream cheese need to sit out to become room temperature before using them in a recipe. It's just smart to do all your gathering up front instead of running hither and yon while following a recipe.

T is for "trashcan".  Cooking is a trashy business.  You create a lot of trash while opening packages and cracking eggs.  It is best to bring the trashcan near your cooking area rather than banking shots of dripping tomato cans and egg shells or running back and forth to the trashcan, especially if there is a cabinet door to open with each use.  If you are using the last of anything in a carton such as eggs, oats, cake mix, flour, or sugar, you can use the empty carton as your countertop mini-trashcan and then toss the whole thing when you are done.

And, finally...

W is for "wash your hands".  You must have clean practices when cooking food for others.  NO tasting from the spoon and putting it back in the sauce! NO pets on the counter [shiver]! NO nose rubbing, coughing, or sneezing in the kitchen! NO hanging your head over the pot! Most contaminants would never be detected but a hair of any length [shiver] will tell on you every time. Most unappetizing. The stuff nightmares are made of. Practice being a trustworthy person by keeping your cooking clean for those who will be eating it.

This brings us to the topic of dish towels, and who doesn't LOVE a good discussion about dish towels?!  I've seen people dry their hands on a dish towel and then use the same towel to dry a dish.  Some families use the kitchen sink to wash their hands after cutting the grass and use the dish towel to dry them.  A kitchen needs some ground rules for towel use. Is the towel for hands or dishes? (Hint: It's a DISH towel. Not a HAND towel.) How many times do you hang it up and let it dry before switching it out for a clean one and how do you keep track of how long it has been in use? And, by the way, if you have a dish "rag", it's  time to toss it and replace it with a dish "cloth".

My practice is to use a dish towel to dry dishes. It is not used to wipe up a mess on the counter or to dry my hands. Once food touches it, the towel is no longer clean. (By the same token, the hand towel in the bathroom is not for WIPING toothpaste off your face but for DRYING your face and hands.) At the end of the day, the towel I used that day goes in the laundry and I bring out a clean one the next day.

I use a paper towel to dry my hands.  I suspect that I'm rubbing more than just water off my hands when I dry them.  I'm probably getting a bit of dirt off, too.  I then leave that paper towel lying on the counter to wipe up any spills I may have and then toss it in an effort to save money and get the most use out of the item. It seems like a waste to get a clean paper towel to wipe up a mess when I just had a paper towel that I used to dry my hands.

Granted, you can call a family meeting and train each member on which is the hand towel and which is the dish towel and hope that everybody gets it just right. I'm not choosing teams over dish towel use, but I hope to give you food for thought concerning the sanitary practices of your kitchen. (If you really want to think about cleanliness, think about the practice of washing kitchen towels in the same load with bath towels. Maybe it's ok. Maybe.)

Before you cook, you should W.A.I.T. It's like putting on your seat belt.  It should just happen without any reminder.  Every time.

So, quiz yourself. Can you tell me what you should do before you cook?

W=

A=

I=

T=

And now that you have that down, you can practice W.A.I.T.ing until the next cooking post.  😊

🐝Be a Lady

🐞The word "ladybug" is ironic to me.  In my mind, "lady" and "bug" do not go together. I'm a lady and I have been known to scream at the sight of a bug. I have a man to take care of bugs for me. Men are handy to have around for that purpose.  I do confess that, of all bugs, ladybugs are the cutest. Ladybugs are plentiful, but ladies are more of an endangered species today.

My children have asked, "Mom, did you hear that lady yelling at her children in the store?"  I reply, "That was no lady.  That was just a woman." You see, you might grow up to be a woman, but that doesn't automatically make you a lady.

 

Being a female is a matter of birth.
Being a woman is a matter of age.
Being a lady is a matter of choice.
Adapted from a quote by Ben Kinchelow

 

The same goes for male/man/gentleman.

We have to be careful that feminism doesn't creep into our thinking.  God ordained a regal position for us as women. We are privileged to be in a place of honor. Why would we try to be masculine or to raise a defiant, clinched fist, as is depicted on the feminist logo?  I've been thinking about starting my own movement:  the feminine-est movement.  I want to be the feminine-est that I can possibly be. Not just because I enjoy being a girl (well, most of the time), but because God chose well when he made me who I am. He is all-wise and knows the best way to do things. I want to live according to God's plan for me. I want to be whoever I am to the hilt. I want to be a lady with all my might.

A lady is a woman who is polite, well-mannered and refined (freed from impurities). 
Being a lady does not mean being a snob. It is not about acting like you are better than other people. Being ladylike simply shows confidence and respect that puts others at ease.

 

Being a lady is where refinement and kindness meet. 

 

That sounds like a delightful person to be around, doesn't it?  People should be able to tell that we are steeped in wisdom, and that we've given attention to ourselves. Proverbs 31:26 says this of a virtuous woman: “She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness.”

I could write a sermon on all the things a lady is and isn't, but this one phrase tells us keepers🐝 what to keep:

PC: Evy Beach

This phrase has helped me many times to know what is appropriate. I find that our society decays when private things are allowed to be made public and sacred things are not held in their proper places. Things about your body and problems you have with other people are private. Every topic does not need to be brought up to other people. There are things we shouldn't show in public. A lady knows which things to keep private. She knows that talking about body functions or someone else's personal problems is not appropriate. She knows that nobody should see her scratching or grooming. She knows that special things aren't special anymore if they are paraded in the street and shared with everyone. Think about it. Do we really want to make our world a place where anything goes?

When there are no rules, private things are public and sacred things lose their meaning. A lady insists on living by a standard of decorum and self-control. And a Christian lady has every reason to promote decency and order (1 Corinthians 14:40). She is a representation of God.

Set a high standard for yourself. You don't have to be a girly girl to be a lady, but every woman, young and old, should desire to behave appropriately.

Welcome to 🐝Be Keepers!

Welcome to my blog! My name is Theresa Beach and God has laid it on my heart to teach young girls to be "keepers". 

Let me tell you a little bit about myself.  I have lived in South Carolina all of my life.  I grew up as a preacher's kid, the youngest of four and the only girl. I met my husband Jeff when I started Christian school in the sixth grade.  In 1990, I completed my degree in Home Economics at Bob Jones University, got married, moved, and joined the same Baptist church that I currently attend.  For the next four years, I taught private piano and Home Economics at our church's Christian day school.  In 1994, I had my first baby and have been a stay-at-home mom ever since.  I now have three children, ages 21, 17, and 14.

PC: Angela Craft Photography

This blog will be something between taking a Home Ec class, going to Sunday School, reading a magazine, and having a heart to heart with Mom. I am not trying to compete with big name bloggers but just trying to whisper godliness into the hearts of young women. If I post a video, you may see dirty dishes in the background or a set of unmanicured nails.  This blog is designed to be a glimpse into the life of a real homemaker.  You will be a fly (or should I say a "Be") on my wall. (Well, actually if there were a bee on my wall, I would scream and go berserk.) I'm also constantly changing strategies, so I will likely improve on the things I teach you and come back later telling you how to do it better than I taught you before. Life is a journey and I am willing for you to learn from my successes AND my failures. Be Keepers will be a very practical, down to earth view of how this lady does things.  I hope that I will be just one place that you look for wisdom. 

I do not pretend to have it all figured out.  All I can teach is what I've learned.  I will be like a general practitioner:  someone with a little knowledge about a lot of topics, but not an expert on any one thing.  I simply want to whet your appetite about many areas and you can further study whatever interests you.  I majored in Home Economics partly because I wanted to know how to do well the things that I would definitely be doing all my life. I have put several years of prayer and preparation into beginning this project and believe it to be the calling of God on my life.  Everything that has happened in my life adds up to doing THIS.  I've been a young girl like you and now I'm a grown woman with children—I've been where you are and I am where many of you are going.  My job is to encourage you in the ways of the Lord and to equip you to please God by being all the blessing you can be to those to whom you will minister during your lifetime.

I hope you learn a lot about yourself, God's design for your life, and the endless possibilities in allowing Him to work through you.

Let's get started!